Friday, June 29, 2007

TGIF

I am so glad it is Friday. That means there are only two more days this week that they can work me to death and also only three days till Monday. I do so love my job. I mean the pay is good, and the my job part of my job is rewarding its the other things that I have to do and some of the people that I work with that make me insane. I see now why some people go postal at work. Thank goodness I am a level headed guy (as I sit here staring at that kitchen knife). lol

Seriously what happened to the gene pool? Did someone pee in it? Ok someone fess up who did it? All I know is somehow we have managed to produce a bunch of super-hybrid morons. These are not regular morons. These are hybrids. And because of that, they are immune to any kind of logical reasoning pesticides and continue to breed more morons.

I swear the next time one comes into my office and says something stupid, I am going to eat a booger right in front of them to get down to their level and then maybe I can understand how someone can be so damn stupid. Here is the latest in the stupid comments I have had to deal with today.

"Greg the equipment room is getting hot. The air conditioner isn't putting out cold air"

Duh the thermostat was set at 85 degrees.

How do some of these people survive without burning their own houses down. In the words of Earl Pitt American. "The gene pool could use a little chlorine."


Well TGIF anyways.

Greg

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

It's official

This is it. As of this morning I am officially on my new diet. I have actually been on it for a week and lost 4 lbs. but it wasn't official until this morning. My reasoning is this. It is kind of like politicians start out. First of all they toy around with the thought of running for office and let it slip out just to see if they have any support. Then once they know they can get some support and won't make a total fool our of themselves they make the big announcement that they are running.

I did the same thing. I tested this new diet for a week to make sure it worked for me and now I am ready to let everyone know I am dieting. I would hate to say I am on a diet and in a few weeks when someone asked how I was doing, have to say "not so good". It would be sort of an admitting I failed and that aint going to happen.

Seriously though this is a great diet. It was invented for people with diabetes and it involves eating small meals throughout the day and keeping an even keel if you will. I get to eat a lot of food and don't get hungry but I have to eat the right foods. If anyone is interested, I can get you the name of it.

So why am I dieting you might ask. I am a little over weight and although that isn't good for my heart, that isn't the reason. I could also say that it is for me but that isn't the reason either. The other day, I was looking in the mirror in my bathroom and I said to myself: "You still got it." I thought with a few pounds gone I would be...well HOT. So I did it for you ladies. No need to thank me, you deserve it. Once I loose a few pounds, I will let you know which beach I will be strutting my stuff on and you can come check me out for yourselves. Just remember you can look but you can't touch. Try to fight the feeling.

Have a great day,
Greg

Sunday, June 24, 2007

5 questions

Here are 5 questions for Dawn and Just me and anyone else who dares to take the challenge. There are no rules to go with my questions except that you have to answer them truthfully. If you don't, I will cast a terrible spell on you. :) Well if I could cast spells I would.

1. You are down to your last dollar. No job and no one to ask for money. What will you buy with it? ( I would go for the lottery ticket)

2. You decide to take a cross country bus trip. Who do you want sitting beside you and why?

3. You inherit a million dollars with the stipulation that you spend it on something other than yourself. What would you spend it on?(no family either)

4. What is the worst thing you have done in a public place? Where was it. (example: Passed gas in church)(no I Have never done that, it was that little old lady beside me, she did it)

5. Who was the most taboo person you ever fantasized about? (For me it was a preachers wife.)

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

I asked for this, What was I thinking?

I volunteered to answer 5 random questions so here are my answers.

1. You are given one million dollars to plan a bloggers get together. Tell us where, when and what your party is all about.

I think I would like to have the get together on a cruise ship. It would be fun to have it there so everyone could get to know each other. It would be a Mediterranean cruise so all of our European friends could join us. We would have a lot of fun but we would also discuss world problems and come up with real solutions which is something our leaders don’t seem to be able to do. No one could be on the ship unless they had their own blog.

2. Describe a perfect day in your life. What would you be doing? Where would you be?

I never seem to get to really relax these days. I would like to have a day just to lay by my pool and relax. I would like it to be about 80 degrees, with a light breeze. No clouds in the sky. And NO bugs. I would have some island music playing (reggae) and a nice tropical drink in my hand. (Non alcoholic of course) I would like some suntan oil that smells like coconut and have my favorite bathing suit on. (aka birthday suit) so you better make some noise if you drop by. I will be in my hammock. I am looking for volunteers to be the oil girl. :)

3. What is the craziest thing you have ever done in your life?

I guess that would be the time I was up in Wisconsin with some friends. This friend that was from that area took us up to some cliffs where people were jumping off into a river. Like a wise ass that I was, I ran my mouth because there was a guy up there that was hesitating to jump off. Of course there was liquor involved and several nice looking ladies there watching. So the guy stepped down and said “if you are so brave, you go first” I climbed up where people jump and one of the girls said “he’s afraid too” so to prove I wasn’t, instead of jumping, I dove. The water felt as hard as a rock when I hit it and it about tore my arms off. My forehead was beet red and my arms ached but I managed to make it to the bank and climb out, No wonder people were just jumping and not diving. Wow was that stupid but al least I can now say I have gone cliff diving, I wouldn’t do it again.

4. If you could change one single thing in your life right now, what would it be?

I would have finished my degree. I was within one credit of getting my bachelors degree but never finished. I went back after a number of years but they said that some of my credits had expired. Now more have expired and it is too late. I no longer have the energy. I think I have lost too much grey matter.

5. You can choose 5 bloggers to spend six months in a locked house with. Tell us who and why them.

Ok first of all Why only 5? I want more. Of course they would all be female. I just don’t get into that male bonding thing. I did ask for this too so here goes:

I would pick Cora (Mayden’s Voyage). She is the only one I have actually met and we did get along well. She is fun to be around and I know we would talk about anything and everything including the others in the house. I think we would talk until I lost my voice. She has such a happy smile and I love it. I know I would have at least one sure friend.

I have always liked artists so I would like to have Lori (missbinnyc) in the house too. Artists are deep thinkers and I have this feeling that she is a very deep person. I can see it in her work and would love to get to know her better. She could tell me all about the big city too which fascinates me. You know those small town boys and big city girl fantasies.

I would love for Evalinn (stock city girl) to be there too. I don’t know much about her because I just started visiting her blog but I am in love with her hair. If she is in the house, I better have lots of nice hair brushes. No I don’t have a hair fetish but I may develop one. She reminds me of someone from long ago. (the hair anyway)

Jenny(blog this) would be there just because I get to pick anyone I want. Those blue eyes are the devil and I have this feeling that what’s inside is more of the same. She doesn’t mind saying what is on her mind and never holds back. She is a little young but I wouldn’t let that stop me from trying. (hey this is my fantasy so back off) Just reserve some time for me between midnight and 6 am.

Last but defiantly not least, I would love to have Barb(bardouble29) there with me. She is the one that asked me these questions in the first place and I find her very mysterious. I would love to find out what makes her tick and 6 months should give me enough time. She has the little girl look kind of like Mary Ann from Gilligan’s island. Want to play castaway little girl? I will be your professor. :)

Ok that’s it. If anyone else would like to take the challenge just let me know. That is if you are up for some interesting questions.

Greg

Monday, June 18, 2007

Movies I don't care for

Are there any movies that you really don't like? I started to say hate but that is too personal and I save that for just a few people? I am not talking chick flicks that men naturally sleep through. I mean a movie that everyone around you just loves but for some reason you just seem to despise. There are two movies that just don’t do it for me. They are both Christmas movies too and maybe that is part of the problem. Christmas was always a sad time for me. I always asked for really expensive things but got things from the 5 and 10 cent store. I now realize that is all we could afford but it is too late to go back and change the past. Unless anyone would like to send me expensive gifts now. :)

Ok the two movies that I really don't like are “It’s a Wonderful Life” and a “Charley Brown Christmas”. They both have the same plot too if you look at it from a distance. For those that have never seen these movies, here is the plot: They start out making everyone really sad and then toss in a very short happy ending. No wonder they suck so many people into liking them. How can you not like them? Well I saw through their little scam from the start and I refused to be sucked in.

It is like when you are on a trip and you have to pee really really bad and there is no rest stop in sight. Finally you see a sign that says last gas for 50 miles and you know you have to stop. You pull into the little out of the way truck stop and rush to the bathroom only to find the toilet stopped up and stinking. There is water all over the floor and graffiti on the walls but you can’t wait any longer so you go. Well it is the most wonderful feeling in the world and you forget all about the pain you were in for the last hour. Well it is the same with those two movies. I do like Jimmy Stuart though so I will leave that movie alone.

I hate the Charley Brown Christmas though with a passion. It is such a sad story and the music is sad and the kids are sad and it is just sad sad sad. I want to go to the kitchen when it is on and take out a nice sharp knife and silt my wrists. The other reason I hate the movie aside from being shown at Christmas time is that everyone picks on Charlie Brown. Why is this a problem you might ask? Because I was Charlie Brown when I was growing up. I wore drab clothes, I was overweight and everyone picked on me. I hated it. Face it even his dog hates him.

I am not ready to toss the movie out though but I do believe if we made a few changes, we could improve it. The problem is there is not enough humor in the movie. Too much sad, not enough funny. I have a plan though. Have you seen one of those movies where just as the credits start to run, they tell you what happened to the characters? I think that would add some humor to the movie and also give it a little air time. It would go something like this:

Snoopy was arrested for flying his doghouse without a license. He was serving a 10 year sentence at a local dog pound but was recently released with a collar tracking device. .

Woodstock was captured by the Save the Birds Foundation and taken back to the wilds of South America. He is having trouble adapting to life in the wild without a food dish bird bath..

Lucy went on to get her degree in psychiatry. She is employed by Match.com and is the one responsible for giving out bad advice. She is in love with Dr. Phil.

Linus never could give up that security blanket. However he turned his affliction into a thriving security business.

Sally resigned herself to the quiet life in the shadows after her only claim to fame was being Charley’s little sister. She is now a librarian by day and a stripper by night

Schroeder never did become a great composer. He did however sigh up with AC/DC and plays keyboard for the band.

Peppermint Patty went on to coach women’s softball. She could never get over Marcie calling her sir and one day, out of the blue, announced that she was a lesbian. She and Marcie were soon married. Marcie still calls her sir.

Pigpen opened a janitorial service and now cleans homes for a living.

Franklin had trouble with his identity. He was never sure if he was white or black but his complexion was darker than the others. He disappeared into society and there is a rumor that he changed his name and became a famous golfer.

No one knows what happened to Rerun. Most people don’t k now who he was. I think he join another sitcom?

Charley Brown. Is still alive but living in seclusion in South Carolina. He has many psychological problems from being picked on for so many years. I hear he spends a lot of time blogging.


Have a great day
Greg

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Smile it's contagious

Lately, I have begun going out of my way to be nice as kind of a social experiment but also because I just like being nice. You would be amazed at the responses I have been getting. I am usually a nice person anyway and hold doors open for people and say please and thank you but I have started taking it further. I now hurry a little bit to open doors for people and ask if people need help. I complement people if they look nice or have a nice smile, I also make sure to speak to anyone I pass on the street even though they may be avoiding eye contact. So if a stranger passes you on the street and says hi, it may be me so please say hi back. I promise I am not trying to borrow money, :)

Have a great day. Smile it looks good on you,

Greg

Monday, June 11, 2007

Where do you stand on the issues?

The other night my sister and I were bored so we were watching Presidential debate reruns. (As if it isn’t bad enough the first time.) It was actually highlights showing the differences between Republicans and Democrats. On most issues there were majorities on the right and left with a few mixed in the middle but on one issue it was unanimous and opposite on each side. “Gays and Lesbians in the military”

I am sure everyone knows that the policy is “don’t ask don’t tell” Or in other words “it’s ok as long as no one finds out”. But what is the big problem here? Do we not want gays and lesbians to fight for their country? Heck I know some people that just want to beat up gays just because they are different. No I don’t think that is it. I think it has to do with Homophobia. And Lesbiaphobia. (I made that last one up. Sounds kind of presidential doesn’t it)

For those that don’t know what those terms mean, let me explain. Homophobia is the fear of homos (as the people that have it call them, not me) and Lesbiaphobia is the fear of lesbians and only exists for women. For the information of you women, it doesn’t exist for men. In all my years, I have never seen a man look at a lesbian pictorial in a magazine and say Ewwww. Wow maybe but never Ewwwww. Also for your information, I know that Lesbians are from the island of Lesbos and Gays are from the island of Alcatraz. (Ok I made that up too)

Let me let you women on a little secret and I may be banished from the men’s club for telling you this but here goes. Men look at those pictorials and think; Wow those women are hot. They must not have a man around and have gotten so hot they are going after another woman. They know as soon as they show up with their totally studly body, these beautiful women are going to ask them to join in. Wake up guys. It’s not going to happen.

So what determines that a person is gay? I guess what I am asking is at what point is a person classified as being gay? Is there a black and white line that once you are over it, you are gay, never to return? If you never crossed it then you are straight? Is that how it goes?

I don’t think so. I think there are levels of gay and you lay somewhere on that line. Based on that, we are all gay to some extent. I guess there are some people that are so grossed out that even the word “gay” frightens and sickens them but guess what? You are still reading so you are at least a 1. Let’s see where you fit into the gay scale.

0 Means you are in that group that is totally homophobic but since you are still reading you are now at least a 2.

10 Means you have committed a certain act or acts and don’t care who knows. You would openly attend a gay function with a “friend” So where do I fit on the gay scale? I guess I am probably a 3. I have gay friends but everyone knows I am straight.

Back to this military policy. The Republicans said leave well enough alone and Democrats said throw the policy out. One candidate who will remain nameless (since I really don’t want to start a war here) said “it was my husband’s policy and it seemed like a good idea at first but now I don’t think it is good”. Funny, he said the same thing about an incident when he was in the Whitehouse. Lol Anyway, being ex-military, I am proposing the following policy that the Democrats can adopt if they like. It’s called the “Don’t look don’t touch” policy. Under this policy, Gays and Lesbians can enter the military but they are prohibited from looking at or touching someone else below the belt. Notice I left out lesbian touching in my policy. :)

So where are you on my gay scale and where do you stand on the issue?

If any of you ladies would like to tell me about a particular incident that happened to you and ask my opinion on weather it was gay or not, feel free to email me. Oh pictures would be nice too. I promise not to say Ewwwwww, lol.

The proceeding was intended to be funny. No gays or lesbians were harmed in the production of this post.


Have a great day,
Greg


Oh I have to tell you all this, This is my jobless brother talking who hasn't had a steady job in over 5 years and lives with our mother, As he sat on the porch smoking a cigarette that was bought with my mother's social security. "Greg this neighborhood has gone straight to hell. Too many lazy Mexicans are moving in" OH brother.

I'm back

I am back and rejuvinated. I took a brief vacation in Florida but if you want to know why, you have to visit my garden site. I have so much to write about but tons of work to get caught up on first. I will visit all your blogs later today.

Take care,
Greg

Friday, June 8, 2007

Excuses excuses!!

I am so glad they let that wormy little girl out of prison. I felt so bad for her not having a cell phone and all. I bet being without it for three days was pure hell. I know if I ever had gotten picked up for DUI I would have been given the same treatment.

The same goes for drug use. I am sure if I ever get caught using drugs here at work, they will rehire me and forgive me completely like the do some politicians.

And I am also sure if I ever take liberties with some of the girls here at the office,(in my office) they will overlook it and oh yes, my DW will stand my by side through it all.

I heard the other day that a lady is suing Match.com because she is a lesbian and they don't cater to lesbians. Is this true?

A local guy is accused of mishandling investments. He took large sums of money from friends, churches and schools and now doesn't remember what he did with the money. (over a hundred million dollars) He was arrested and now his friends want him released because he is a nice guy. Some even said they would reinvest with him again.

Am I the only one that sees a problem here? With my luck If I ever get arrested I will end up with a cell mate on Viagra. I wouldn't be surprised if they gave it to prisoners.

Have a great day, I will have some big news soon and also some new pictures.

Greg

Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Special day

Well today is a special day for me and DW. It is our 25th anniversary. It seems like just yesterday that we were getting married. We have been through a lot and we have two wonderful boys. I also have a daughter that DW helped raise. I guess we beat the odds to have made it this far. As luck would have it though, we have company coming in today so we had a special dinner to celebrate last night. Hope you all have a wonderful day. I am on my diet again today and also still on the wagon, How long has it been now?

Greg

Friday, June 1, 2007

My little corner of the world


This is the lovely view from my window. Not many people get to enjoy looking at a fuel oil tank, a parking lot and a power yard. Lucky me.


This is my quiet corner. I have an American flag, a poster by Willie saying "What ever happened to peace on earth" and a dream catcher in case I fall asleep at work. And oh yes the edge of my book case which is chock full of interesting reading material. ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz


Yep thats me. I have on my librarian glasses. Try to fight the feeling girls, I know they are sexy. Singing:"I;m too sexy for my glasses, too sexy........"


This is my snake plant. I have it in my office because they won't let me keep a real snake in here. It would keep some people out.



This is my wall. It has our company values on it, a little picture from a friend in Boston. My calendar. The birthday list. The vacation schedule. Some pictures my kids drew and a diploma from a business school. Interesting isn't it.



This is where I spend my days slaving to make a dollar.Oops is that my blog on my computer during working hours. How did that get there? :)


Ok tour is over, back to work people. I hope you enjoyed it.

Greg