Strike Three

Lots of things come in threes; Peter, Paul and Mary, Three Dog Night, Inna-godda- Davida (baby). Even the Bible makes lots of references to the number three; Father Son and Holy Ghost. Mathew, Mark and Luke, The three wise men. Yes I know the bible doesn’t technically say “three” wisemen but my Children’s Bible did and I am going with that. From what I remember it said there were three Wise Men. The first brought Gold, the second brought a friend named Frank Insense and the third brought the mertz’s (spelled myrrh for some odd reason). I am assuming it was Fred and Ethel.
Hey that’s what I thought when I was young and this is my story. Anywhoo…..

So Wednesday night which just happens to be the third day of my week I went spinning for the third time. The instructor was younger than the previous one and so were the majority of the participants. Because of that the workout was much more intense. I am sure in a few days I will be able to walk normally again. We did a Cancer ride and everyone put the name of a person touched by cancer on their bike and we paid tribute to them while we rode. It was very inspirational and moving. (no pun intended)

So that takes us to Thursday morning. (stay with me please) As some of you know, I had to attend a day of training. I actually got to sleep in a bit since I wasn’t going to the gym. Those two workouts on Wednesday did me in. I headed out at 5:15 because the training location was about an hour and a half away. It was at my old office which is why I transferred to where I am now. Who wants to spend 3 hours a day on the road just driving to and from work? There is no easy way to get there but I do know a shortcut if you can call it that.

There is a little country road that goes between Jacksonboro and Canadys. It’s called Round-O road. It's named that because half way between Jacksonboro and Canadys is a bump in the road town called Round-O. I am not making this up, Google it. I don’t know who came up with that town name but it didn’t take a lot of thought. I can hear the town meeting now;

Future Mayor; “Well did anyone come up with a town name since our first meeting?”
Town person #1; “How about Square-O.”
Future Mayor; “For some reason that sounds odd.”
Town person #2; “Oh, I know, Triangular-O.”
Future Mayor: “No that doesn’t work either.”
Little Jenny Pickens (who would be the schoolmarm if they had a school in Round-O) “Oh Oh pick me (hand waiving in the air) What about (big pause) Round-O. “
And the rest is history.

So there I am enjoying my nice morning drive, coffee in hand, light beginning show in the east, enjoying a little soft music when out of the corner of my left eye, I see something brown. Now let me say that the events to follow all happen in about two seconds and I am traveling at 55 MPH because that is what the speed limit is and I always do the speed limit. So I notice this brown object emerging out of the green woods and it is moving in my direction. Suddenly I realize it is a deer and for some reason it wants to cross the street in front of my fast moving car. Why I don’t know at this point. Suicidal deer perhaps.

About a half second has passed and I gently apply my brakes causing a loud screeching sound black marks in the road and smoke to bellow out the back of my car. (Translation; I locked them up with all the strength I had in my leg) At this point, the doe is right in front of the car and she realizes she isn’t going to make it (duh I knew that a half second before that) so she jumps. I actually think this was a good move on her part and mine. So there she is front legs up in the air and I do think if she had an additional second she would have made it but she didn’t.

Now I want to take a moment to thank the person (NOT) that sent me the email the other day showing the deer in the front seat of the car because in that next half second, that picture flashed before my eyes and so did the deer and my life. Clipping her back legs sent the entire deer into my windshield. For those that don’t know it, I drive a Honda Civic so this deer was about as big as my car. After denting my front fender, and bouncing off my windshield the deer was tossed about 8 feet in the air and it landed in the road behind me just about the time I skidded to a stop.

I looked back excepting to see a dead deer which I would have to then drag off the road (because it is the right thing to do). Instead I saw a doe with a very sore behind struggling to her feet and running off into the woods. I am hoping that the back legs were only bruised but I am guessing there were more serious injuries. I was only a few miles from my destination too and that makes the third deer I have hit this year. What’s up with that?

But being proactive like I am, when there is a problem, I have a solution. Bumper stickers:

I brake for venison.

Caution, deer Crossing.

Meat eater on board.

The Buck stops here.

I eat at the roadkill cafe.

Go ahead, make my dinner.

I hate Bambi.(I don't really)

And my personal favorite:

Deer, the other red meat.

And if that doesn’t work I have idea #2. Road signs at animal crossings. But don’t put them for the drivers, turn them sideways and put them for the animals:




So it’s Friday and I am thankful for being alive and only minor damages to my car. The worst part of the entire day was the training wasn’t worth a dime or should I say wasn’t worth a Buck, yuck yuck.

Have a great day,
Greg