The Secret to my happiness
When I was young, one of my mother’s favorite things to do was to lock herself in her bedroom and threaten to kill herself. She did this when she was depressed and wanted to “get back” at my father for one thing or another. She suffered from depression a lot. I can still hear her saying “I have a gun and I am going to shoot myself.” (My father kept a loaded handgun in his bedroom because he was a special policeman and we knew it) She would continue despite our crying and pleading until one of us called my father at work and got him to come home. A fight always followed. Many times I found myself praying to God to take me away from that place and relieve my pain but He never did. So eventually I gave up on praying and I gave up on God. I reasoned; why pray if He never answers and if He doesn’t answer my prayers then He must not exist. I have always had an analytical mind so that made since. When I was 18, I joined the Navy to “See the world” but I really just wanted to get away. So I l...