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Showing posts from February, 2009

Liar liar pants on fire.

Remember hearing that in school? It was a common saying. So where did that saying come from? Is it still around today? From what I have heard, that is old school. Today kids are more modern and say more up to date things like; You are ugly. You are stupid. I hate you. Everybody hates you. You know, kid stuff. Nothing to worry about, it’s just kids being kids. Or is it? Sticks and stones. My mother always told me: “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me.” This may be true from a physical standpoint but so wrong from a mental angle. I was picked on all through school and to this day I carry the mental scars. It changed me and shaped me into what I am today. Some people argue that since I am basically a good person and successful, those scars didn’t hurt and perhaps strengthened me. But I have to wonder if perhaps I was meant for greater things and because of what happened in my early years, I never reached my full potential. I will never know. As a responsi

There’s Gold in them tharr hills.

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That’s right, Gold prices are at their highest level in years and if you are selling, “ Cash for Gold ” is buying. All you have to do is call the number on your screen and we will send you a handy return envelope. It is safe, reliable and easy. Simply put your unwanted or broken Gold in the envelope and return it to us and we will send you back cash. Translation: Desperation is at its highest level in years. So if you have gold and you are desperate enough to put it in a marked envelope and send it through the mail where hundreds of people will have the opportunity to steal it, and by chance we do get it, we will send you back a fraction of what it is worth. It’s as simple as that. Count me in. Invest in Gold. Yes it is true that Gold prices are at their highest level ever and the prediction is that they will go even higher. This prediction however comes from the same person who said that the Dow would never go below 10,000 again and then changed that number to 8,000 and then 7500 a

It’s all about timing.

I tried smiling again this morning. This time at 5 am at the gym. (I always smile at the gym but this morning I smiled more than usual) Do you know that everyone, without exception, smiled back and most said; good morning. Even though it was 5 am, everyone was happy and in a great mood. Maybe it was just a better group of people. I doubt if it was timing. I think if you ask the right group of people a question, you can get the answer you want. It really is all about timing and strategy. Now allow me to get on my soapbox for just a brief moment. I promise not to dwell on this but sometimes something gets said and it just hits me the wrong way. And instead of letting it fester like a bad sore, I am going to just clear the air and get it off my chest so that it doesn’t affect my blogging. I know you were all concerned. Ok last evening on the news, a reporter was raving about what a great speaker President Obama is. She cited three reasons for this. First he uses two Teleprompters when

Send in the Clowns.

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I heart/hate clowns. (circle one) The funny thing about clowns is….. (sometimes I crack myself up) people either love them or hate them. They seem to be one of those things where few people are down the middle. People say I am a clown most of the time. There are several reasons for that. First off, I am a huge optimist. You know how people are either a “glass is half empty or full” type? Well I take it a step further. I am more of a “wow, I have a glass and there is something in it” kind of person. I almost always look for (and find) a bright side to everything. Because of that, I am more times than not, a happy person. And because I am a happy person I am almost always smiling. And that is why people usually either love me or hate me. For some reason a lot of people out there hate when someone is happy. They look at the dark side of everything so my smile really makes them angry. I often get the comment “Why are you so darn happy?” I like to come back with; “things could always be wor

TMI

TMI (Too Much Information.) I have had writers block before but this is different. I think this would be called Writers Overload or TMI. Sometimes I get Writers Block where I can’t think of anything to write about on here but right now my head is full of topics and I just can’t decide which topic to write about. (I am trying to stick to my only positive post policy) Is that crazy or what? I guess I could always just get started and see where it ends. Ok let me try that. Yellow Spandex pants, Size triple X; 10.00 Spiked heels; 20.00 Red see-thru blouse; 15.00 Putting it all together at the Flea Market; Priceless Oscar night….I can’t believe that the best movie of the year was something called “Slumdog Millionaire” Someone at the Oscars made the comment (in all seriousness): “It’s all about money”. Not in my book. Did anyone out there actually see this movie? Some reports: Deer report; There everywhere, there everywhere. Calling all hunters. Report to Wadmalaw ASAP. Diet report; Stalle

5 Things

5 Things or (I doubt if I will finish the meaningful post I started by the end of the day so I am taking the easy way out) I am working on a great post or at least something with a little more sustenance but it’s Friday and I deserve a break today. You remember that old slogan: You deserve a break today, so get up and get away to……… Mc Yuckies, or something like that. Well I found this meme over at Kelly’s blog so I thought I would do it to maybe stimulate my brain. So without further ado, here we go: 5 Things Found In My Bag: Ok I don’t have a bag but if I did, I guess it would be a man bag and I think I would like it to be leather. If you have a man bag with a Harley emblem on it, does that make it manly? So If I did have a manly man bag with a Harley emblem on it, this is what I would carry in it: Gum (your breath can never be too fresh) Knife (just in case anyone said something negative about my man bag) Reading glasses (I can never seem to find mine when I need them) Chapstick (g

Feel the Power

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I awoke last night, for some unknown reason. I have to tell you that I have no trouble falling asleep when I first go to bed. I am usually out within a minute of my head hitting the pillow. However when I wake in the middle of the night it is a different story. I usually flip and flop for hours trying to get back to sleep. Because this keeps my wife awake, I opted to go to the couch and try to get some sleep. That way, even if I couldn’t sleep, maybe she could. I quickly discovered what woke me. It was a storm approaching. My wife was already awake but I decided to stay on the couch for a while to let her get back to sleep. As I began trying to relax, I saw a flash of lightening and then another. I knew this was going to make it hard to fall asleep but I closed my eyes and tried anyway. Very shortly there was another flash and I was amazed to see it even though my eyes were shut. That lightning was still miles away and the flash had to travel that distance. It also traveled through rai

It's about Time

It’s about Time. Remember that old TV show? Well this isn't about that show. My sitemeter has indicated an influx of new viewers to my blog. At first I thought it was people wanting a Psychic reading (see last post) but then reality set in and I discovered that this wasn’t the case. No I really am not a Psychic. The only lottery numbers I can guarantee you are LAST night’s numbers if you are interested. Maybe you can convince a lottery salesperson that you really meant to buy that lottery ticket yesterday and he will backdate the ticket. Yea like that’s going to happen. So where are these visitors coming from? After a lengthy investigation I discovered that they are coming from a recent article in " Time Magazine ." The article is about the movie “The Notebook”. Now if you have been with my for a while you know that the plantation house where Noah lived in The Notebook is right around the corner from where we live. And you also may know that my wife and I got married in t

I have this power.

I’m a little bit spooked this morning. It’s one of those Déjà vu kind of things. My wife just called me and told me that today on the news they are reporting that two submarines collided recently. The fact that there was a submarine collision in itself scares me because I rode them for about 10 years. I was actually on them my entire career but one day I sat down and figured out just how much time I was physically on them and it was almost 10 years. But here is the part that really scares me. Saturday night, I had a dream about a submarine accident. Sunday morning, I told my wife about it which is why she told me about the accident this morning when she called. So I went on line just now to see if I could get some facts and yes it was true. And the strange thing is that they didn ’t break the story until this morning. Does this mean I am psychic? I have always thought that I was a little Psychic. I sometimes have dreams that parallel what happens in real life but I don’t know if ma

It’s almost here.

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Well tomorrow is Valentine’s Day and I would just like to say; We have been together through good times and bad and I am happy to say that most of the times were good. We got off to a rocky start though when I tried to kill her by pulling her skiing across an oyster bar. She recovered though and was able to limp to her bridal shower. And only a short time later, she was healed enough to put her shoes on so that we could get married. I thought for a while that she would have to go barefoot at our wedding. Don't we make a great looking couple? This is inside Noah's house. (from the Notebook movie) Over the years, I wasn’t always the best husband but I did manage to kill a few snakes for her. We found this one in our back yard. She always impressed me with her ability to play sports. She could hit a softball further than anyone I know and she still plays tennis. Of course she had the best softball coach ever which didn't hurt. She stood beside me though my Navy years and supp

How bad can it get?

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I will tell you how bad it gets. Last night I watched some dog show. It was something called Westminster or something like that. I mean I don’t even like dogs. So since I don’t like dogs, I couldn’t get myself to root for a dog so I had to root against a few. For instance, I hate poodles. Those aren’t dogs in my opinion. A dog is a beagle or a blue tick or some other hound. All the rest are foo foo dogs and I don’t like them. Here is a real dog: So there I was watching a dog show and out comes, you guessed it, a poodle. The hair stood up on the back of my neck as it pranced around and shook its fuzzy little tail. That was my number one pick for last place. No doubt it had to be last. This isn’t that poodle but you get the picture. I am happy to say that the hounds did well and the winner was some kind of short legged spaniel that I have never seen before. I think his name was stumpy or pudgy or some other fitting name. I couldn’t believe that he won but I am glad he did. Here he is: No

Another day another dollar

Or is that another buck. Today started out well enough. I woke up early and was feeling pretty good. I got ready to go to the gym, made a cup of coffee and headed out with a granola bar in hand. All was perfect until I got about a mile down the road. Remember that buck I hit yesterday that didn't do any damage but scared the poo out of me and him? Well today his wife gave it a try. Today though I was driving my little Honda and not the full sized truck. I was doing about 50 mph when I saw her coming. Unlike the buck the day before, this doe was in a high speed run and heading right for me. I swerved into the other lane in an attempt to miss her but she was determined so she dove in the air right at me. I do mean dove too. She had her legs tucked and looked like Rudolph pulling Santa's sleigh. The swerve that I made may have saved my life because instead of hitting the front passenger side door she hit head on (literally into the rear passenger side window. Now in case you are w

A market for fleas

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Well we decided to try the old flea market today. Not the nice one in downtown Charleston were we go during the summer. No this one is in Ladson SC and the clientele is....Ummmmm how do I say this nicely.......well they have less teeth. That doesn't sound too bad. And a few of them may have fleas. Now that is bad but sadly true. Our day started out with a bang. Literally. We were about 5 miles from home and up ahead, we saw some deer crossing the road. I slowed down.....way down. I was only going around 10 mph when I got to where they crossed. Just then my son shouted; "Watch out". I had already seen it coming and had started hitting the breaks. It did no good though because a buck ran out of someones driveway and right into my truck, hitting the right front panel. I came to a stop and then backed up to get the deer off the road but guess what. He was already gone. I guess I was going slow enough and it didn't hurt him or the truck. Whew that was a close one. We got t

A word to the wise (wise men that is)

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OK Ladies, this message is for men only. So if you are reading this, stop right now, go get your husbands or significant others, and let them read it. This important message may just change your entire relationship and will certainly bring me closer to making that Million dollars I spoke of earlier. Besides it is about Valentine's Day and I know that you aren't interested in such things. Yes, Valentie's Day is just around the corner and don’t be fooled like I once was into believing that the statement; “let’s not get anything for each other” really means how it sounds. They say that just to test you and if you do fall for it, you failed. Failing this test is like the groundhog seeing his shadow only it means an entire year of cold if you get my drift. Now most of us like to think "practical gifts" but Valentine,s is no time to be practical. This is the one holiday that you only get one shot at. I know a gift like this seems like the right thing to give: But take i

I’m appalled.

Soapbox warning. I will keep it short. 25 million dollars for a one year contract to PLAY baseball and he turns it down. And the icing on the cake is that this guy isn’t even from America. He came here to play baseball. He wanted to play baseball or so it seemed. I guess he really came to America to make money. Sports figures have a lot of nerve in my opinion. Let’s face it. Manny Ramirez has a batting average of .332 which means that almost 70% of the time he fails in his job. Take that kind of record back to your job and see how long they keep you much less offer you 25 Million to stay on for a year. I have heard several arguments for why these “super athletes” should get so much money. The first is that they only produce for a few years compared to regular people who have an income for 25 to 35 years. The other way to look at it is that these guys (and girls) only HAVE to work for a few years. If they are smart and bank even a small portion of their money, they can live out the rest

Aliens are abducting our children

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A while back, I posted about a local radio station morning show. It’s called “Two Girls and a Guy” but it should be called “One opinionated bossy girl, one Like really like blond girl and a clueless guy” Although the name is long, it really is a more fitting title for their show. Anyway, the other morning the conversation got so mindless that it reached the critical level and I hit the search button to find a replacement channel for this spot on my radio. I ended up replacing that radio station with a Talk radio station. I thought I would try something different. I also replaced a country station with a Contemporary Christian channel. Who says I am not for Change. Well the next morning, when I headed out for work, the talk station was selected on my radio so I listened in. It was 4 am and I have to tell you that if you think talk radio is interesting later in the day, you really need to listen in at 4 am. That morning’s topic was (you guessed it), Aliens. Now I know that there are peop