Friday, May 4, 2007

Hail to the Chief

Let me start out by saying that I am not officially throwing my hat in the ring. I am just saying that based on what I have seen from the other candidates, I could do just as well.

Everyone needs an angle and a white American male who has no history of politics won’t stand a chance so I am going in as a minority. I know, I know, on the surface I may appear as an American but I am actually Englo-American. Yes it is true and for those that don’t know what that means, let me explain. My ancestors were from England and forced here due to poverty and lack of food. I am claiming the Englo-American status which just means that I will use the American ticket to get what I can from this country but I am holding on to my English status just in case I need an escape route. As far as my past, I will not admit to anything I did prior to this morning.

There are many issues of concern out there but I would keep my platform simple.

1. Military: Bring all of our service men/women back to America. Those people have been killing each other since the beginning or time. Little old America isn’t going to stop that.

2. Taxes: Go to a straight 2% tax. No exceptions. That means a huge tax break for most of us but people like Donald Trump will probably flip their wig. (no pun intended Donald)

3. Crime: Impose strict penalties for criminals. If convicted, criminals will have the option of just leaving the country for good.

4. Complaining: Open the exit Gates. For some reason people like to complain but no one wants to leave. Are the exits closed and I just don’t know it?

5 Welfare: No welfare for anyone capable of working. By the way, everyone can work doing something.

5. Government: Change all legislators from salaried to hourly. This alone will clear the national debt.

6. Clothing: On the issue of thongs. I would make a law that no one could wear a thong if it isn’t visible from the back. Enough said.

I think that covers all the major issues. I will let you know if I decide to run. I would appreciate your vote if I do decide to do it. Also I am taking question on other issues at this time.



Bardouble29 said...

Three Cheers for Greg. I'd vote for ya!

Sharon said...

You got my vote..
Need a campaign manager?

Gardener Greg said...

I might need a VP. That makes two votes. I am on my way. :)

Tina said...

And one more vote from me Greg!!! :)

Tracey said...

Oh...number three! Number three! As in...Alec Baldwin! Please send him away. He promised to leave, so I voted for Bush. But did he go? No! Make him leave and you have my vote =)

Gardener Greg said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Gardener Greg said...

I hate when I mispell and I don't catch it. :) Thanks Tina and Tracey. I will get rid of Alec if I can add on a few celebs to the list.

Em said...

I'm hosting fund raising barbecue on your behalf!

Gardener Greg said...

Thanks EM Please send cash. :)

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