Wednesday, March 5, 2008

My Discoveries

You probably never heard of me before this blog but I made some interesting discoveries myself. As a child, I was always curious about things and this curiosity led me to many interesting discoveries. They weren’t earth shattering like finding America or discovering gravity but they were never less discoveries.

Did you know that tweezers fit perfectly into an electrical outlet? Even at my young age, I noticed the similarities and performed an experiment to prove my theory. They fit in easily enough and aside from some burnt fingers, a damaged outlet, melted tweezers and a blown fuse, I would have to say the experiment was a success.

Did you know that those vines that Tarzan used to swing from are really ropes? I didn’t believe it myself so I climbed a really big oak tree and found a nice solid grape vine that looked sturdy enough. After chopping it off, I tugged on it a little before giving it a try. It held up quite nicely as I was going down but after I hit the bottom of the arc and started back up, I felt the vine giving way. Good thing I landed on my back on some palmetto bushes or I may have gotten hurt. I still have a scar on my arm from that one and my back has never been the same.

Did you know that eating mushrooms growing in the back yard won’t kill you? Neither will telling your mother that you let your little brother eat them to see what would happen but it will get you a sore bottom. It really was no big thing. Once they pumped his stomach out, all was well. I don’t get what the big deal was.

Did you know that a little tiny BB could break a windshield? Me either. No one told me. I figured it would ricochet off and never leave a mark. Man was I wrong on this one. And another thing I discovered about windshields is that they totally shatter into a million pieces when they break and are not installed. That car was old anyway. I thought my neighbor would never notice but somehow he did.

There is no such thing as modesty when there is pain involved. Did you know that when you have a scorpion in your pants, it doesn’t matter where you are or who see’s you, those pants are coming off. There I was in our front yard when the little critter began stinging and biting his way up the inside of my leg. It started around my knee and was getting higher and higher. Lucky for me, no one was around but I really didn’t care and took my pants completely off in our front yard. I am sure these days I would be arrested for such an act. I tell you though, I would do it again in the same situation and so would you. (those of you who like to go commando may want to remember this lesson)

I hope you have many discoveries today but that they are more pleasant than the ones I had as a child.

Have a wonderful day,

Greg

18 comments:

Jessica said...

That was pretty entertaining, Greg. When I discovered fire I became a bit of a pyromaniac as a child....I always got in trouble for starting little fires!

Sian said...

Electrocution, bb guns and scorpions. My childhood was positively boring in comparison! :D

Kathy said...

I learned that you can't jump rope with a log chain. My brothers never let me forget that one!

But haven't some of the world's best inventions been a result of just such experimentation? You were probably much brighter than your parents gave you credit for!!!

Janice Thomson said...

Oh Greg these were absolutely hilarious!
The only thing I remember is that falling on a boy's bike is not a pleasant experience, nor eventually landing in the rose bush either. :D

Kati said...

ROFLMBO!!! OUCH!!!! Thanks for the tip, I'll remember to be sure to wear clean underpants should I ever get down to visit my sister in Arizona. *wink*

I'm with sian, I had a boring childhood, by comparisson. The most important bit of information I ever gained was that my baby sister's voice was shrill enough to shatter glass & wake Dad, when she screamed bloody murder over something my other sis & I did that may annoy the youngest. And, that all in all, Dad has always believed my baby sis in regards to what caused her to scream, over the recounting by myself or my middle sis.

Glad you survived to tell us the tales. Though, from the sounds of it, feeding your brother back-yard mushrooms is the one incident that probably brought you closest to losing your life. *grin*

Mom23QTs said...

Did you know that a closed cooler is not an appropriate home for kittens on a hot summer day? LOL

Gardener Greg said...

I forgot about the kitten incident. I will remember that one for a future post. :)

Celticspirit said...

What a crazy childhood you had! It's a wonder you even survived it. Your story was very entertaining as usual Greg.

Michele (Rocky Mtn.Girl) said...

Alright, I did have a good chuckle at your story and I have to thank you... I know at the time of these incidents you were surely not happy... but you look back at these things and it is what makes us who we are today...
I thank you for sharing that ... it was a delightful story... :)

Annie said...

You kept your guardian angel very busy, Greg.

Shannon @ Gabi's World said...

LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL!!!

That was hilarious!

Wanda said...

Oh greg ~~ that was so fun to read, and brought back some painful memories too. Childhood is a painful school!
My mother told us when she was working in the fields with her brothers they put field mice down her blouse, and she striped for them and danced at the same time!!!

Great stories Greg - you have a gift!

ChrisJ said...

Oh great stuff! More stories, please Greg!

Susan Kelly Skitt said...

Oh Greg, you make me smile :)

Susan Kelly Skitt said...

P.S. It's actually 5:56am here. Strange with blogger times. (smile)

Angie said...

ROTFLOL

Oh that was rich!

You had me squirming at the end.

Amrita said...

You have me laughing

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