"They tried to take away my Reuben I said No No No!"

It’s hard to believe isn’t it? I had to draw the line somewhere though so I said No. I mean a man has to have something to look forward to and what could be better than a nice hot Reuben sandwich. Think about it. Hot pastrami, cheese, sauerkraut, special sauce, all piled high between two slices of toasted rye bread and served with a generous pile of ruffled potato chips and a slice of a deli pickle. That is heaven on a plate if you ask me. But alas I am banned from having my prized Reuben for at least a little while,

I decided to put them into my diet as an incentive for reaching a goal. I will use them as prizes when I lose weight and get my blood pressure down. By the way, I did drop my blood pressure 30 points just by watching what I was eating and stopping the allergy medication. So here is how my plan works:

This will be kind of like those school sales that they send home with your kids. For those that don’t have kids, you are really missing out on a lot of “fun” so let me fill you in. The school sends home this little packet of junk (oops I mean valuable merchandise) for your kids to sell. This is to make money for the school and instill school spirit in your child. I think the school makes about 10 cents for every dollar of merchandise the “children” sell. So you get this packet home and the first thing you notice in the instructions is that your children aren’t allowed to sell door to door. This means that the parents have to sell the stuff to friends and relatives. (So much for instilling school spirit).

The next thing you notice is that most of the items are way overpriced. For example, they have wrapping paper for 20.00 a roll which you could get at Walmart for 2.00. But what the heck you say, it is for a good cause so you find some to buy and alienate all your friends and relatives getting them to buy some. Usually you can scrape up about 100 dollars worth of orders. Then you get the great idea: If I am going to sell only 100.00 worth of stuff, why not just give the school 20.00 and they will be way ahead. Guess what, the school doesn’t want you to give them money, (we tried) they want you to go through the pain of selling the stuff so just go with it. Oh I almost forgot the point I was trying to make.

The more stuff your child sells, the bigger prizes he/she/you can win. For instance, if he/she/you sell 1000.00 worth of stuff, you get some bubble gum. And it goes up. When you child sells 10,000 worth of stuff they get a plastic yo-yo. I believe if he/she/you sell a million dollars worth of stuff you get a neat slinky or something like that. Pretty good isn’t it!

So that is how my diet is going to go. When I lose, 15 lbs I will get a Reuben sandwich. When I lose 30, I will get to go to Kim’s Japanese Restaurant. When I lose 45, its Starbucks time. Talk about goal oriented. I am on my way.

Have a great diet day.
Greg