Thursday, July 31, 2008

It's a Miracle

Is anyone else tired of all these stories about seeing Jesus in everything from chicken noodle soup to hairdos? I guess anything is possible but really, enough is enough…………OR IS IT.





Warning
The following post is intended for mature audiences and is meant to be humorous. If you are easily offended, then read no further. Don’t quit in the middle either. That would be like watching half of "It's a Wonderful Life. I saved the best for last.


First it was the amazing vision of Jesus on the cross in an ultra sound. Now it seems that someone found a likeness of Jesus in a Cheetos bag. I really can’t put much stock in either story for several reasons. First off both of these “images” were created by manmade machines. Machines can be programmed to make any image desired so finding a “Devine” image like those isn’t really a Miracle. Secondly, the truth is that neither of these items really looked like Jesus to me. And lastly, why would Jesus show himself in an ultrasound or a Cheetos snack when MY blog is available.

Now if you could find an image like that that wasn’t manmade that would be something to brag about. It would have to be something made from nature without the aid of man or machine. It would have to be something that wasn’t helped along or caused to alter in any way. Well guess what folks. As a visitor to Greg’s General Store today, you get to be the first to hear this breaking story even before it shows up in The National Enquirer, The Sun or The Star. You people are the first to hear about this earth shattering story so sit down and hold on to your hats.


A bag of seed potatoes …….. Five Dollars



Working in the garden …….. Zero Dollars



Finding the “Tater Baby Jesus” in your garden ……… Priceless




It’s true. I found this likeness of the Baby Jesus in my potato patch. I have affectionately named him Tater Baby Jesus or TBJ for short. It may not be the best name but it has to be better than Cheesus which is what they call the Cheetos Jesus. At first I didn’t see it but the more I looked at that little spud and read the other stories of the sightings I began to realize that I had the real thing. Mine is all natural too. There are no artificial ingredients or colors. So now what do I do with him?

I gave it a lot of thought as we drove to work this morning. There are so many options. Just having him strapped into the passenger seat there beside me was of course my first option. I thought about how I could put that bumper sticker on my car saying “Jesus is my copilot” and everyone would be so envious. My next thought was to secretly sell him to the pope. The Pope could actually use him in communion and be giving out the real thing. I thought about leaking the story to the big news papers like The National Enquirer, The Sun or The Star and then putting him on display in my yard and charging money to see him. There is also the ebay option but I would have to open the bidding around a million dollars for a find like this.

All kidding aside, here is what I came up with. First off, this isn’t the Baby Jesus and if you are looking in a bag of chips an ultrasound or a potato patch for Jesus, you are looking in the wrong place. Actually He is there too but you are missing the big picture. The one that gets me is the couple that is looking at the likeness of Jesus in their ultrasound when the real miracle is the baby in the picture. Being able to grow anything without chemicals is a miracle these days so it isn’t what the potato looks like that counts it is the fact that it grew (all natural) and I could eat it if I wanted to. I am not sure what to say about the cheetos Jesus except that Cheetos are like clouds. There are so many shapes and forms that if you look long enough you can find anything you want in them. The other day I saw a cloud that believe it or not, looked like a cloud. As for what I will do with the little spud, a nice beef stew sounds good to me. That is unless anyone out there wants to offer me that million dollars for it.

Have a great day,
Greg

PS Need help finding Jesus? Click here.

14 comments:

Beth said...

I think you should preserve TBJ and put Him in a manger at Christmas! Don't eat Him!!!!!

Sandy said...

GREAT post..I got a good laugh and at imagining him sitting next to you in the car!! Wow Greg you're a local celebrity...should you wish to be, ha!

Gnightgirl said...

This one did make me laugh out loud, while I sat at the boss's desk, using his computer to read my blogs!

Tater Baby Jesus. Ya killin me!

Katherine Aucoin said...

Greg, your post had me laughing. Only you would grown a tater Jesus and be able to work it into to such a humorous post. Your blog really brightens my day. Thanks!

Wanda said...

It might be on the side of sacreligious to eat a TBJ. On the other hand, it might be the best beef stew you've ever made...I mean it would have to be blessed!!

You have one of the best sense of humor in blogland.

By the way, I have 5 Nativity sets, I could start a new one with your tater....but then you would need to grow a Mary and Joseph and a couple of cows.

Loved this Greg....really cute.

ChrisJ said...

'Way to go Greg!! Finding these Jesus Images is getting a bit out of hand -- -- and as you said, people are looking in the wrong place. Aren't we all supposed to be like Jesus? Yes, but we are a bit flawed. So if you take all the good things you see in people and leave out the bad, you'd have a better image of what Jesus is really like. Then again, a lot rides on who He really is!

Lori said...

why would Jesus show himself in an ultrasound or a Cheetos snack when MY blog is available.

ROFL!! This post got my funny bone.

Lori

Wayfaring Wanderer said...

All kidding aside.....

I have affectionately named him Tater Baby Jesus or TBJ for short. It may not be the best name but it has to be better than Cheesus which is what they call the Cheetos Jesus.

YOU ARE HILARIOUS! I had a good chuckled over that.......

Why 2nd Cup of Coffee? said...

This is exactly the kind of stuff I blog about regularly. I'm with Lori: "why would Jesus show himself in an ultrasound or a Cheetos snack when MY blog is available" cracked me up.

Kristen said...

Tater Baby Jesus is going to keep me laughing all weekend. You are too funny! :-)

Celticspirit said...

Too funny! About a month ago I got a bag of potatoes and when I opened them up it seemed they were pretty much all deformed and Russell and I laughed about all the odd shapes. One day we were peeling potatoes to make fries and we found one that looked exactly like a guys male parts. Enough said. We really laughed about that one. So....are you going to eat that potato?

Angie said...

What Wanda said...

Susan Kelly Skitt said...

Oh my, what an interesting little spud you dug up there :)

As for Jesus, I can gladly say He lives within my heart, now that's about as personal as you can get!

Have a great day Greg! Glad to be back and visiting here in blogland.

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