Friday, August 8, 2008

On The Road To Recovery

I am happy to report that my blog seems to be recovering. It is now only missing two comments that I made as tests and I can live with that. The missing comments all seem to be associated with a post that I made on August 6th. I don’t know any significance to that date so I am not sure why this weird thing happened. If anything weird was going to happen, it should be today. Am I the only one who realized that today is 8-8-08? I made a note of it at 8 am this morning but nothing really happened so I let it go. It was like that Y2K thing. What a let down.

I am also feeling better now so I am on the road to recovery myself. I have had a stomach ache for several days now. No I didn’t go to a doctor because I know more than doctors so I prefer to self diagnose my own illnesses. Right now I have it pinned down to one of three things. First: Food poisoning. I ate some cantaloupe that I believe was grown alongside those bad peppers. I am almost certain of it. Second: Stomach virus. If this is the culprit then I got it from several sicko’s here at work who refuse to take vacation time when they are sick. The third possible cause is an overactive thyroid. I have been toying with this idea for some time and
I will continue to do some research.

Now for the bad news. I went to the dentist the other day and I have a ton of problems in my mouth. I have a mouth full of fillings which are over 30 years old and most of them are coming lose or cracking. I need a total dental makeover. The good news is that they can fix everything for a mere 15,000.00. What a deal!!! Yes you read that right 15,000.00. Let me compare that to my Honda car which I paid the same amount for. So are my teeth worth that much? They are to me but for the life of me, I can’t imagine why it should cost so much to fix teeth. The x-rays are now done digitally. Most of the crowns will be made of some inexpensive composite. A little numbing agent. I mean how hard could it be? So Don’t Cry for me Evita. I have several other options

First off my friends and family say I can fix everything. It is true. If I put my mind to it and have the time and energy, I can do almost anything. Option one is to fix them myself. And it isn’t like I would be a pioneer in this field. Someone did it many years ago:

Option two is even easier. It involves a bottle of tequila, a pair of pliers and a mirror. I can do this. I know I can. I am sure I can find some used dentures at the flea market once I get the bad teeth out.

Option is three is my greatest idea of all time. I found a dentist that will do it for a fraction of the cost. I would have to drive a little ways and maybe stay in a rundown hotel but I know in the long run it will be for the better. Can you say Mexican Dentist? I have always wanted to go to Tijuana.

Have a wonderful day and brush those teefees people,


happyone said...

I had all my old fillings replaced last year. Our insurance paid for mine.
I love my dentist. I bring him chocolate chip cookies when I go. He loves sweets. :-)

Lori said...

OHMYGOSH!! You are soooo funny. I'm glad I'm alone tonight because when I burst out laughing at your ideas for your teeth I was rolling.

You are such a funny guy.


Scarlet said...

LOL - I vote for the Mexican dentist...just make sure he's not wearing that hat when you have the procedure done! ;)

BTW, I am praying for you, you know. Can you feel it??

Wanda said...

Oh my sides hurt..... Greg you are so funny ~~ Have you thought of stand up comedy....

This would be a very clever routine...Try it out at your local pub... You would have them rolling on the floor.

BTW I didn't know my mother wore dentures for years...she was very private about it...and it was much later in life that I found that out.

Go ahead, Greg, give me a big smile!!

Katherine Aucoin said...

I almost spit coffee all over my monitor when I read your post. Ok, that sounds gross, but I'm trying to keep it real. I vote for the Mexican dentist too. Seriously, I hope you can get total relief at a reasonable cost.

Gnightgirl said...

Your ideas made me laugh too...even though they made my teeth tingle. I've always thought the cost of dentistry was ridiculous too--they sure get you over a barrel on these things.

And self-diagnosing, you're a man after my own heart. I'm very good at looking up "headache" on the www, and finding out I have a brain tumor, and 3 days left to live.

Wayfaring Wanderer said...

Word to the wise....Carlos Mencia ain't no dentist! haha

I've been fighting with my wisdom teeth that are coming in.....but don't want to pay $2000.00 to get them fixed.....I guess I should be thankful that it's not what your dealing with......

I hope it works out.....

Connie Pombo said...

OMG, you're kidding?!?! I was laughing and crying at your comedic approach to this new dilemma(s): stomach, thyroid (?), and teeth. Only you could put it all together and NOT cry "Like Evita"!

I'm going to make an appt. to see the fillings are 40 plus years old (and anything harder than a marshmallow I avoid like the plague!).

I remember the days of eating candy apples (those are only memories now!).

Thanks for the reminder, Greg, and I'll look forward to your new SMILE!

Lori said...

Wow, $15,000! I guess I should have become a dentist.

Your posts are so funny!!

Marie Reed said...

Hilarious chomper post! This is awesome stuff. Yes sir: I'll brush! I might even floss too!

Angie said...

Oh you totally cracked me up. As I was reading it, I remembered a dream I had last night about my teeth rotting and falling out. I have that dream many times and would like an interpretation. Glad it was just a dream. I loathe trips to the dentist. Loathe them!

somebody said...