Friday, August 29, 2008

What this country really needs.....

What this country really needs is a great cup of coffee. I don’t know what has happened to Americans but it seems almost impossible to get a real cup of coffee anymore. This week alone I had numerous failed attempts to get a good cup of coffee and I am about fed up. I am contemplating moving to Columbia just to get some real coffee. Meet my new roomies:

Monday, my coffee was old and burnt. It had obviously been brewed many hours before I got it and it tasted nasty. Tuesday I took the day off and used those little bags to make my coffee. Little did I know that it would be the best coffee I would have all week. Wednesday, I got my coffee and it looked fresh enough. When I took the first sip though I realized that it wasn’t the house blend, it was French Roast and it was strong enough to wake the dead. I went back in and exchanged it for another cup and this time I smelled it to make sure it was the house blend. It smelled good so I headed down the road. About a mile into my drive, I took a sip and Ewwww it was cold. I was running too late to turn back so I had to do without that day.

Thursday I decided to try someplace else for coffee so I went to Duncan Doughnuts. I thought to myself; They always have good coffee. I arrived and there were two people in front of me. I heard the lady at the register telling the customer that she was sorry but the coffee machine was broken but that they had iced caramel, chocolate coffee available. I turned around and headed out the door rather than expressing my opinion on that “sissy” coffee. I drove a few miles and then stopped in a convenience store that looked crowded thinking that they must have good coffee there.

Entering the store, I looked around and didn’t see a coffee machine but the place was so packed with stuff that a person could get lost so I guessed that It was just hidden. I pushed myself past a few winos and some Mexican construction workers and asked the lady at the counter if they had coffee. Without saying a word, she pointed her finger with the 3” fingernail toward the back of the store. I again dodged the Mexicans and the winos and a few hundred empty boxes and found the coffee machine way back in the corner. With great anticipation, I poured a cup and added some cream and sugar. (they were out of equal) After an amazing demonstration of how to operate a cash register with 3” nails I headed out the door toward work. Again this coffee was a little burnt and very bitter but at least it was hot. So hot in fact that it burnt my lips and tongue.

Well today was a new day so I again headed out in search of a good cup of coffee. I went to my favorite store and this time, I sipped the coffee to make sure it was hot and the house blend. MMMMMM Yes it was. I thought: “It’s going to be a great day” Thank you Juan Valdez. I added my two equals and some half and half and after paying, was out the door on my way to work. Heading down the road, I brought the coffee cup to my lips and took that much needed sip. Yuckkkkkkkkkk. What the heck. I know it was good before I added the equal and half and half. Then I realized what had happened. The girl working at the store…..The one who mixed up the regular and French Roast coffee….The one who left the heater off so I had cold coffee…… Well she messed up and put the Hazel nut creamer where the half and half should have been. Grrrrrrrrrrrr. They should shoot the person who came up with the idea of Hazel nut coffee. I am talking with the manager next time I am in there. I want this girl fired.

Reluctantly, I pulled in to Mc-D’s and ordered some coffee. While I was in the drive thru, I poured out the Hazel nut coffee. The coffee was called Mc-D’s special dark burnt extra strong roast but at least it was hot and not sissy coffee. I want that on the agenda for the presidential debates. The person who outlaws sissy coffee gets my vote.

Have a nice day.


Patience said...

Gotta have it hot, fresh, and strong. It doesn't have to cost $5 a cup. In fact that should be considered price gouging, a felony requiring prison time.

I like an off-brand (can't remember which) French roast. It magically brews itself and is ready for me when I get up in the morning.

I'm drinking some of that now!!

Jeannie said...

I used to love coffee but suddenly my tongue turned against it a few years back. I don't suffer from anxiety like I had forever any more.

However, I never liked Starbucks - far too bitter. Tim Horton's has consistently mediocre coffee depending on the water where it's made. I used to love a good rich strong coffee - more like an espresso almost - the kind you make cafe con leche with - that we would get in the carribbean.

Since the smell of coffee generally makes me gag now, I buy the coffee for my family. The only one I can bear is the Organic coffee from Costco. I first bought it because of the smell in the aisle. The family (and guests) love it. It is whole bean coffee - we've got a coffee maker that grinds them fresh before starting the drip.

I do like Starbuck's green teas though.

Lori said...

I always bring my own coffee to work in a thermos cup. That way I can have it just how I like it. Enjoy your weekend and hopefully you'll have some good strong coffee!

Celticspirit said...

Why don't you make your own coffee Greg? It would be a lot cheaper. Russell brings his to work in one of those Stanley thermoses and it keeps it hot all day long. He puts boiled water in it and leaves it in there for about 30 mins. Then pours in the hot coffee. I only like coffee made at home as most of that convenience store stuff is nasty. And I'm not about to spend $3or so for a cup of Starbucks which I think is way too strong. And I love that hazlenut creamer as well as other flavored ones. Right now we have a caramel flavored one in the fridge. Yummy.

Janice Thomson said...

Maybe you should try tea LOL
I don't buy coffee when I'm out - for all of the aforementioned reasons.

Wayfaring Wanderer said...

Sounds like you need to wake up earlier and make your own coffee! Or you can get one of them fancy ones where you set a timer, and it's ready when you get up?!

I'm sure you already have one though, especially if you are that crazy about the goobldy gook!

Scarlet said...

If you come to Miami, I guarantee you manly-man strong espresso coffee. We drink nothing else!

Wanda said...

I have been a coffe lover for years. My favorite is one I get at Trader Joes called Moca Java, and with a little Half & Half~~Perfection.

But then something happened. 6 weeks ago, I started eating and drinking healthy...Flushing out my system out ~~ and it's a no caffine for two weeks, but after the second week, I actually lost my taste for coffee, and have been drinking hot lemon juice in the mornings. I know that sounds yucky, but after 21 days, the habit has stuck, and I only have coffee now as a treat once in a while. The upside, is I have lost 15 needed pounds and I feel Great!!

I know the frustration you are talking about finding a good cup of coffee on the road.

ChrisJ said...

I'm with you Greg, OUT with the hazelnut coffee! I don't drink much coffee but I don't like fancy coffees or teas. I do not like Earl Grey tea, it makes me think Earl Grey must have been a fop!(That's 'wimpy' if my Englishism is new to you). Give me straight English Breakfast tea any time.

Sandi McBride said...

Good grief man, just hit the road to Jefferson, I make the best coffee in the county...even the Highway Patrolman I once worked with come by for a cup! Oh, and I have an award for you at my place, do come by and get that...and the secret to good coffee is the Arabica bean...or so my South American father tells me...

Chel's Leaving a Legacy said...

Yeah, my thought was make your own. That way you know you are getting the same thing every day. Except, of course, when you make it too late at night or too early in the morning and forget to put the coffee grounds in. Then all you get is hot water.

Not that I've done that or anything.

And, I agree, Starbucks is WAY over-rated. A good frap is okay once in a while, but I refuse to go there for real coffee.

Jamie Dawn said...

I enjoyed reading about your great misfortunes trying to find a decent cup of coffee, but I cannot relate.
I don't like the taste of coffee and neither does my husband. We LOVE the smell of it brewing though.
The only way I can drink it is if it's loaded with sugar and cream and tastes like a melted Sugar Daddy.
I do drink iced tea and hot tea.
I'm the odd on out of my family since my parents and brother are coffee drinkers.
I wonder if our kids will become coffee drinkers??
Cute post!

somebody said...