What this country really needs is a great cup of coffee. I don’t know what has happened to Americans but it seems almost impossible to get a real cup of coffee anymore. This week alone I had numerous failed attempts to get a good cup of coffee and I am about fed up. I am contemplating moving to Columbia just to get some real coffee. Meet my new roomies:
Monday, my coffee was old and burnt. It had obviously been brewed many hours before I got it and it tasted nasty. Tuesday I took the day off and used those little bags to make my coffee. Little did I know that it would be the best coffee I would have all week. Wednesday, I got my coffee and it looked fresh enough. When I took the first sip though I realized that it wasn’t the house blend, it was French Roast and it was strong enough to wake the dead. I went back in and exchanged it for another cup and this time I smelled it to make sure it was the house blend. It smelled good so I headed down the road. About a mile into my drive, I took a sip and Ewwww it was cold. I was running too late to turn back so I had to do without that day.
Thursday I decided to try someplace else for coffee so I went to Duncan Doughnuts. I thought to myself; They always have good coffee. I arrived and there were two people in front of me. I heard the lady at the register telling the customer that she was sorry but the coffee machine was broken but that they had iced caramel, chocolate coffee available. I turned around and headed out the door rather than expressing my opinion on that “sissy” coffee. I drove a few miles and then stopped in a convenience store that looked crowded thinking that they must have good coffee there.
Entering the store, I looked around and didn’t see a coffee machine but the place was so packed with stuff that a person could get lost so I guessed that It was just hidden. I pushed myself past a few winos and some Mexican construction workers and asked the lady at the counter if they had coffee. Without saying a word, she pointed her finger with the 3” fingernail toward the back of the store. I again dodged the Mexicans and the winos and a few hundred empty boxes and found the coffee machine way back in the corner. With great anticipation, I poured a cup and added some cream and sugar. (they were out of equal) After an amazing demonstration of how to operate a cash register with 3” nails I headed out the door toward work. Again this coffee was a little burnt and very bitter but at least it was hot. So hot in fact that it burnt my lips and tongue.
Well today was a new day so I again headed out in search of a good cup of coffee. I went to my favorite store and this time, I sipped the coffee to make sure it was hot and the house blend. MMMMMM Yes it was. I thought: “It’s going to be a great day” Thank you Juan Valdez. I added my two equals and some half and half and after paying, was out the door on my way to work. Heading down the road, I brought the coffee cup to my lips and took that much needed sip. Yuckkkkkkkkkk. What the heck. I know it was good before I added the equal and half and half. Then I realized what had happened. The girl working at the store…..The one who mixed up the regular and French Roast coffee….The one who left the heater off so I had cold coffee…… Well she messed up and put the Hazel nut creamer where the half and half should have been. Grrrrrrrrrrrr. They should shoot the person who came up with the idea of Hazel nut coffee. I am talking with the manager next time I am in there. I want this girl fired.
Reluctantly, I pulled in to Mc-D’s and ordered some coffee. While I was in the drive thru, I poured out the Hazel nut coffee. The coffee was called Mc-D’s special dark burnt extra strong roast but at least it was hot and not sissy coffee. I want that on the agenda for the presidential debates. The person who outlaws sissy coffee gets my vote.
Have a nice day.