Tuesday, October 14, 2008

My bailout plan....Yes I have one.

I have been listening to both sides of this political circus and I have to tell you that neither side has a real plan. Trying to nail either one of these candidates down to a solid plan is like trying to push a rope. It can be done but it would take divine intervention. And it isn’t just the presidential candidates beating around the bush. (no pun intended) I heard a couple of congressmen being interviewed the other day and they couldn’t say it either. The host kept asking what their plan would be and they kept saying things like; “The American people want…” and “The American people need….” The host kept asking; “so what is your plan?” But no one being interviewed had a plan.

It really reminded me of the first time a girl said I love you to me. I knew I had to say something but not “that” so I beat around the bush. (There I go again) I think I said something like; “I really like you a lot” or “you are more than just a friend”. If I knew then what I know now, I would have just said it, and gotten it over with. The government should just say it too and get it over with: “we really don’t have a plan and we really don’t know what we are doing.” Thank you, now we can get back to our regularly scheduled shows.

Have you heard they are talking on giving us another stimulus check next year? The problem is that in the present state of the economy, people would just hold on to it instead of spending it on luxuries like food or gas. But wait, some senator then came up with this idea; Instead of giving out money, give out gift cards with an expiration date so that Americans will have to either spend them or lose them. That plan makes me proud to be an American. Hold on, I need a tissue. I think I got a tear welling up. It may be time to invest in Walmart stock.

So here is Greg’s plan. This was so simple a moron could have thought of it but I am posting it here to get credit for it. You know once they see it, one side or the other will want to use it and get all the glory but let the record show, this is Greg’s plan. (drum roll please) I call it…..

“Buy a piece of the rock”

We reverse mortgage the United States to pay off our debt. Think of it, this is perfect. You know how a reverse mortgage works. You borrow money from the bank and you get to use the money right away. When you die, the banks own the property. In my plan, when every American who is now living dies, the country belongs to the lending institutions. This is genius I tell you. It is too big to sell it to one bank so we break it up into chunks and mortgage it in lots.
Just imagine it. No national debt. We can live like kings. And we will no longer need a military either. People won’t attack us they will attack the owners. Now the Saudi’s will probably buy most of the mortgages but who cares. Let them fight for it. As I see it, we have about a hundred years to use this country however we chose and they will have one heck of a cleaning bill when we are finished. (You know how it is when you have renters. They never take good care of the place.) This will also give our grandkids about a hundred years to move to Mexico and Canada. Sounds interesting doesn’t it.

So just remember, you heard it here first.
Have a great day and
Buy a piece of the rock.


Chatty Kelly said...

So what you are saying is a bad plan is better than no plan at all? LOL!!!

Okay, sorry, that wasn't nice. And I don't have a better plan than you. Um, the American People need and want.....

The Blonde Duck said...

Thanks for visiting my blog! Unfortunately, I ate the ribs before I could take the rest to the wedding. And after we got stuck in traffic, the brisket we'd snuck from the restaurant had gone bad....dang it!

Interesting plan!

Patrice said...

Buy a piece of the rock huh? You're a hoot!

BTW, my hubby only hung out with girls too. The idea of hanging with the guys, watching the game and other man-tastic things, just is not him!

Don't know why I just told you that, must be the moldy peanuts!

Scarlet said...

Greg, I had no trouble saying "I love you" because I fell quickly...but I only had four boyfriends including my husband. They were all long term relationships.

Btw, your plan is ingenious. I vote for YOU! :)

Daisy said...

Can I write your name in the box election day?

Sandy said...

Pure genius!!! ha...Yeah I'm with ya. Great idea...

Greg, you're always thinking!

Sharon said...

Yeppp I vote for YOU!!
I enjoyed your sites, I really love the garden's.
Have a terrific and blessed day!

Katherine Aucoin said...

Greg for President! At least you have a plan and you'd get my vote.

Debbie said...

Interesting plan! It's bound to be better than the water they're throwing on a grease fire!

Monogram Queen said...

I'm all over your plan Greg!

I will personally take all the stimulus checks the government cares to give!

Monogram Queen said...

Oh and my response to the "I love you's" in Jr High was "I have to go home now". I was SO eloquent!

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