My Ugly Mug story

For those who didn't know about it (which should be just about no one since she told everyone who blogs about it) Today is the ugly mug contest hosted by Linda at 2nd cup of coffee. Please go visit her so she will get off my back. :) Just kidding Linda.

A wise man once said; "It's not the destination so much as the trip that makes life insteresting."

As I said in an earlier post, I don’t own any ugly mugs. Well until now that is. I have been searching for weeks and weeks trying to find one for Linda’s ugly mug contest though and with no luck here in Charleston. I searched, second hand stores, Goodwill, yard sales and was about to start going through people’s trash cans in an effort to find just the right mug. But I did have an ace in the hole.

This past weekend, as some of you know, my wife and I went to Orlando Florida for a wedding. To get there, we had to travel past the World’s Largest Flea Market which is in Daytona Beach Florida. The highway literally takes you a block from the Market so on Saturday, we decided to drop by and find an ugly mug. Surely there would be one at the World’s Largest Flea Market. Well guess what? The World’s Largest Flea Market turned out to be the World’s largest disappointment. There were very few flea market type vendors. It is almost all stores that had relocated themselves to the Market in an effort to avoid paying higher store rents. Again we struck out.

On Sunday, we traveled back to Charleston. Our plans were to stop at the Pecan Park Flea Market to buy some fruit to take back home. There is an Indian River fruit stand there that has the best citrus so we usually stop. While there, I thought that I would give it one last try to find that ugly mug and I am so glad I did.

This market too had mostly stores but there were a few individuals selling stuff. After passing the World’s most disgusting restroom, I headed down the aisle in search of a mug. The smell wafting out of that place was intolerable and I hurried to escape the toxic vapor. It however followed me like a funk that just wouldn’t die. Just as I began to enter a safe breathing zone, I got hit right in the face with another not so pleasing aroma.

It was the snack bar up ahead. It was 10am and they were already cooking the first batch of funnel cakes in sour grease that had to be a month old. I could just imagine how wonderful those funnel cakes must have been after being fried in the same oil that had cooked thousands of onion rings, corn dogs and chicken tenders. I turned my head in search of an escape route and that’s when I saw it. A small booth only 6 ft by 8 ft, containing priceless artifacts from the past. I hurried into the booth.

This place was full of collectable antiques that seemed so out of place at a flea market. No these treasures belonged on the Antique Road Show and I wondered if I could afford to shop here. The shelves were made of old plywood slats that were propped up with upside down milk crates and there was a film of dust on everything. Obviously no true collectors had found this place otherwise it would have been cleaned out long ago. There on the second shelf, located between the Miami Dolphin’s plastic travel mugs and the jelly jar juice glasses, I found it. The cow mug.

I picked it up and admired it. It has been 30 years since I saw one and knew I had to have it. Just then, from out of nowhere, I heard a voice. “I git 3 dollars each er 2 fer 5 fer ma mugs………But you kin have it ferr 2.” The voice came from a man sitting there in the corner. He was wearing a Daytona 500 ball cap from 1998 and he was clipping his greasy fingernails. He didn’t even look up but I could see a big plug of Redman in his swollen cheek. He too was covered in dust and I had at first mistaken him for part of the exquisite decor. I quickly put the mug down so as not to let him know I was interested.

In an effort to fool this well seasoned salesman, I quickly looked at several other items before returning to the cup. I picked it up and again examined it only to find that it was not the true antique from the 70’s but was a cheap imitation made in 2002. I scrunched my nose and put the mug down and proceeded to leave it behind. Just then the man spoke again. “You kin have it fer a doller.” A smile came to my face and I quickly said; “I’ll take it.” I handed the mug to the man and he proceeded to wrap it for me in a piece of moldy yellow newspaper and then slid it in a torn grocery bag. As I handed him the dollar, he smiled and I thought for a brief moment that I saw a tooth without a cavity in it. I thanked him and said; “Have a nice day.”

Once home, I bleached the mug, washed it with Softscrub, poured boiling water in it and then washed it in the dishwasher. And now it’s ready to use. Well I won’t use it. That mug will never touch my lips and to tell the truth I really didn’t feel good about getting it that close to my face for the photo. I may just have to save it for a giveaway and make sure that Linda wins. J
So now that you know the rest of the story, here are the photos. So please vote for me. I deserve it.

This side is Cow by Pablo Picowisso.

This side is Starry night by Vincent Van Cow.

And this is me and my new found mug at 4 am this morning. I need to win.



Have a great day, And vote for me.
Greg