Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Aliens are abducting our children

A while back, I posted about a local radio station morning show. It’s called “Two Girls and a Guy” but it should be called “One opinionated bossy girl, one Like really like blond girl and a clueless guy” Although the name is long, it really is a more fitting title for their show. Anyway, the other morning the conversation got so mindless that it reached the critical level and I hit the search button to find a replacement channel for this spot on my radio. I ended up replacing that radio station with a Talk radio station. I thought I would try something different. I also replaced a country station with a Contemporary Christian channel. Who says I am not for Change.

Well the next morning, when I headed out for work, the talk station was selected on my radio so I listened in. It was 4 am and I have to tell you that if you think talk radio is interesting later in the day, you really need to listen in at 4 am. That morning’s topic was (you guessed it), Aliens. Now I know that there are people out there who think that Aliens exist and I am not going to argue that point one way or another but this show went “One Step Beyond”. Remember that show, I loved it. Anyway, this talk show went so far as to suggest that the Aliens aren’t only here observing us, they are actually interacting and changing things here on earth. It was frightening.

This woman was on the air testifying about her alien experience. As I listened intently, I prayed that she wouldn’t talk about probing or anything like that which seems to be a favorite thing these alien spotters like to discuss. Thankfully she left that part out but she did talk about the sightings that she witnessed that faithful night from her trailer window. It seems that the “Mother ship” landed not far from her house. After landing, a door opened and two saucer- like spaceships went out and caused havoc in the small towns that were nearby. After 4 or 5 hours, (which coincidently is about the same time that it takes to sober up from a good whiskey drunk), the saucers returned and the Mother ship left. But what did they do here on earth you might ask?

Here is where my theory takes over. They are stealing our children and taking their brains. Now don’t freak out on me here. The good news is they are only borrowing the brains. They will return and give them back. I wouldn’t believe it either but my son was one of the victims. Thankfully they did return his brain. And here is the proof:
At the beginning of the second week of school, my youngest son returned home at the end of the day. The conversation went like this:

Me: How was your day?
Him: Ok
Me: Well let’s get your homework done and then you can watch TV
Him: I don’t have any, so can I watch TV now?
Me: No homework at all?
Him: No, so can I watch TV?
Me: I can’t believe that the second week of school, none of your teachers gave any homework.
Him: No they didn’t.
Me: So you have absolutely no assignments at all this week?
Him: Well I do have one but it isn’t due until Friday.
Me: Ok well work on that some tonight, and then you can watch TV.

30 minutes later.

Him: I got started on Fridays work, now can I watch TV.
Me: Are you sure you don’t have any homework at all to do tonight.
Him: Well I do have some reading to do but that isn’t homework.
Me: What about math?
Him: I just have a study sheet but that isn’t homework.
Me: Show it to me.

He shows me a full page of math “study” problems.

Me: Aren’t these homework?
Him: No they are just practice problems.
Me: So they are not graded?
Him: No they aren’t. She only looks to make sure we did them.
Me: And there is no grade given?
Him: Well we only get a pass or fail but she doesn’t actually grade them.

And the discussion went on and on and in the end, there was work to be done in all subjects, but it wasn’t in his eyes, “homework”. His brain was obviously having an out of body experience. It was taken by aliens.

Now let’s fast forward to last night which is less than 6 months later. The same son comes home from school and hands us this piece of paper and says: Oh, they gave me this at school today, just like it was nothing.

See they do give the brains back so parents don’t be alarmed.
^5 Son on the award.

Have a great day,


Angie said...

tee hee

I hear ya.

Chatty Kelly said...

Yay for Sean! That is so awesome! My GiGi made honor roll too. (Proud mama's heart swells).

You realize of course, it only meants they have brilliant parents and they got good genes, right?

(unlke the people on the talk radio show). LOL!

skoots1mom said...

that's great!
keep pumping him up...
good job!

sara said...

that was great and I can totally relate!!

Good Job to your son!!

Monogram Queen said...

Big High Five!!!!
I've listened to two girls and a guy too.

Katherine Aucoin said...

Congrats to Sean. I feel your pain...mine NEVER have assignments yet they remain in the honor roll and in the BETA club.

I have an award for you.

Sharon said...

I started laughing when I saw the heading on my blog, I hadn't even came here yet. I knew this was going to be good!
Yep I was right, it was, but I felt like I was re-living the same situation in our home. So I can relate. Thanks for the laugh
And WTG to your son!!

Sharon said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Carmen Gamble said...

Hilarious and oddly comforting! You must be proud of your son!:D

Anonymous said...

Ah, this post takes me back to my own days of making excuses for not doing homework.

Those aliens have been around a long time! :)

Jamie Dawn said...

Congrats to your son!!!! I think those aliens took his brain so they could make a model of it and display it to all their alien kids. THIS is how you avoid homework! THIS is how you make the honor roll!


Have you seen Invasion of the Body Snatchers?
If you did, you would not jest about aliens.
I suggest you watch your kids and wife whenever they take a nap. They might be replaced by aliens who look just like them. YOU might already be an alien!!

Edwina at The Picket Fence said...

Tell Sean to keep up the good work! and watch out for those aliens

Peggy said...

Funny how they don't seem to have any homework.
Honor roll...congratulations to him...bravo!

Becky said...

What if you're short and the aliens mistook you for a youngin' ... I think thats my problem right there. LOL.

Always entertaining.

Kim said...

WTG Sean! Keep up those grades...they lead to better college opportunities! :)

I will have to somewhat agree with Kelly....our brilliant children get their genes from their brilliant parents! (but my brilliant child forgot to give mine back, so he's got excess and I'm left with less-than-brilliant genes now) ;) But I'm still the momma!

My ADHD Me said...

Your first conversation with your son could have been my 12 year old and I, 100%.

Between the tornadoes and the aliens, it's a hard life in a trailer park!

Slowly Dying 2 Self said...

Congratulations to Sean!! Yay!!

As I started reading and cracking up all the way through this post, it dawned on me that there is a downside to heaven. WHO ARE WE GOING TO LAUGH AT!? LOL!!

You are too much.

Edie said...

Ooops!! I just finished a blog makeover and thought that I had signed out of her blog and back into mine, but nooooo.

(Slowly Dying 2 Self said)...NO, NO, NO...EDIE SAID...
Congratulations to Sean!! Yay!!

As I started reading and cracking up all the way through this post, it dawned on me that there is a downside to heaven. WHO ARE WE GOING TO LAUGH AT!? LOL!!

You are too much.

Dorothy Champagne said...

So it took 6 months for them to return the brain? I'm still waiting. . .

Debbie @Like a Rose said...

Wow, glad they returned his brain! It gives me hope that they'll return son #2's girlfriend's soon. I'm sure they've taken it since she dropped out of college after Christmas break fro no apparent reason...

Must be the aliens - she was such a smart girl up until now.

Anonymous said...