Friday, March 27, 2009

Back to the Restroom.

I just read the funniest story on a blog that I found through Jenny's blog. If you go there she will link you to her friends post and I guarantee it will make you laugh. It reminded me however of a bathroom experience that I had a number of years ago.

I was in a local hardware store one day and I had just finished a large soda when the urge hit me. I knew I would never make it home so I decided to go use the men's room. This was a very large orange hardware store and they are all the same so if you know which one it is don't say but the restrooms are all in the same place. They are in the back right behind the kitchen section. When you go through the opening to the restrooms, there is an employee break room right ahead of you and the men's room is to the right and the ladies room is to the left. That tells me what they think of their employees to put their break room between two bathrooms.

So by the time I get there I am about to die and know that I don't have time to even quit shopping and make it across the street to the Mc'Nasty's bathroom. I have to go NOW! Well when I get there the situation is bad. Really bad. There is a Hispanic man there and he has just waxed the men's room floor and it is closed until the floor dries. I looked at the man with my watering yellow eyes and he saw right through them. He said; "you go ahead and use the ladies room. I will watch the door for you." He was about to clean it next and the door was open so I could see that no one was in there at the moment. I wasn't in any condition to argue so I went in.

Now you have to understand how my brain works to understand what I am about to tell you and that is just about impossible so I will just tell you what I was thinking. I get inside and I remember that the door is propped open and I start thinking about noise from standing and I decide that it would be better to sit because that would make less noise. So that is what I did. I felt more secure. So just as I get started, I hear the janitor say; "you can go in, it's ok."

Now I am thinking; well thank God it wasn't just me. Another man must have had to go really bad too. So I hear footsteps and then the person gets in the stall next to me and I notice wow that "man" is has on some small pink sneakers. Now I am trying to finish as quickly as possible but then I start thinking I can't leave until she leaves and please God don't let her speak to me because I will have to remain silent or surely get arrested for being a perv. And I am also thinking that maybe she is there for some more important business and I am totally freaking out. But quietly mind you.

Well as luck would have it, I was able to wait her out and as soon as I heard her leave the restroom I gave her a few extra seconds and then ran out myself. The Hispanic man is now gone which is a good thing because I was looking to give him a piece of my mind. So if you want to hear another funny bathroom story, go visit Jenny.

Oh and have a nice day,
Greg

18 comments:

Terri Tiffany said...

LOL--ok--this was worth another visit back! BTW--you didn't give us the link to Jenny on her name.

And also, our orange store has the women's room on the right and the men's on the left and it is on the right side of the building by the lumber. Must be newer than yours. So if you are ever in the area and are in a rush...you'll know which way to head:)

Debbie said...

That was you? I was wondering who that perv was in the stall next to me.

skoots1mom said...

you always have an adventure... :)

Jenny said...

Ahahaha, I would have died. I am glad you liked "A 3-year-old tells all from his mother's restroom stall" post:)

Jenny said...

They were singing "when the world gives you lemons you make lemonade:)"

Monogram Queen said...

That was truly bizarre - why in the world would he let a woman go into a restroom he just let a man go into? I wouldn't exactly freak out over it (as long as there were doors and all parties were behind said doors) but geez!
Remind me to go near no bathrooms when I meet you IRL! LOL

Jamie Dawn said...

My dad had a similar experience in a rest stop bathroom once. But he mistakenly went into the ladies room. He noticed the shoes in the stall next to him and then realized he was in the wrong bathroom, but it was to late since he'd already begun his pee. He knows what you mean by having to Wait It Out until the coast was clear.

:-)

The Dental Maven said...

You should have asked her to pass some toilet paper under the stall to you.

Chatty Kelly said...

You were wondering about the "man" in the small pink sneakers...She was wondering about the "woman" with the big workboots on (Or whatever you were wearing.)

That is hysterical. Could have gotten really ugly. Ah, your colorful life!

Okay, I'm heading to the other blog now.

Chatty Kelly said...

Well, whoopsie daisy call me crazy, but I can't find the post you are talking about. You just linked to her blog, and I glanced through 5 posts, but none of them seem to be about the bathroom.

Anyway - I left comments anyway, as she has a BostonTerrier and I have 2, so we are surely friends. Just hadn't met yet.

Sandy said...

hahahah, that is hilarious. I'm glad I'm not the one who walked in when you were in there.

Wanda said...

Oh funny, funny, funny.

I have a story almost identical, but it was me in a men's room.


I'll bet there are a million bathroom stories out there... Maybe we should all post one!!

Thanks for the laugh. Pink Sneakers....ha ha ha!!!

AirmanMom said...

funny story.! now I am off to visit Jenny!
~AM

Patrice said...

You really need to come to Tennessee....you have way to much fun, and the only fun I seem to have is at Ihop!! :) I'm sure the TN flea markets may be a fun place to visit, I'm sure we could find something blog worthy there!!

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