Thursday, March 12, 2009

"The Lizard Man" Truth of Fiction

The Lizard man lives and I can prove it.

Imagine yourself driving down a deserted road late at night, when suddenly, from out of nowhere something enters your field of vision. There up ahead illuminated by your one working headlight, you see the creature. It is like something out of a horror movie. It has the body of a man but a head and tail like a lizard. It stands there with that deer in the headlight look. You swerve to miss it, almost spilling your spit cup but somehow managing to hang on to your bottle of Jack Daniels.

Fear grips you as your car skids to a stop on the edge of the road. You quickly down a few more gulps of courage before backing up to verify what you think you saw. With doors locked you slowly return to the site where the creature stood. Was it a dream or did you really see the legendary Lizard Man? There is only one way to tell and that is to investigate. After another couple more swigs of courage you stagger out of your car to look for evidence. You see nothing but as you are looking around you hear the sound of something moving back in the swamp. To the untrained person this might be mistaken for a deer or some other vermin but you know better. It was the Lizard Man.

So where did this Lizard Man come from? Well first off does it make sense that there is only one? No no. In fact there is a whole colony of them living in South Carolina. They have been seen all over the state. Usually they are seen near swamps. And not just any swamp either. Usually after investigating you will find that these swamps also contain well hidden stills. And although no one really knows where they came from, we do know that they have been around about as long as prohibition. I am working on a connection here but so far I have nothing.

Wow talk about a coincidence. After starting this story yesterday, last night I was out in my back yard taking photos and I saw something moving off in the bushes. And guess what? I was able to capture the elusive creature on film. So you my faithful readers will be the first ones to see actual photos of the beast. Yes it is true. Check out these photos;


It is right there in the middle. See that dark shape? Sorry they are a little fuzzy. Isn't that always the case.



Ok this one is easier to see even though it is still a little blurry. It is on the right side of the tree and running to the right.



Now you have to see him in this photo. He is right there on the left side of the photo and running to the left. I need to be quiet so I can get a better shot.





Now this one is much clearer but as you can see, it is very shy so it is hiding behind that tree.



So now you have to believe me. The lizard man is real, and he lives in my back yard.

Have a great day but watch out for Lizard Man,
Greg

25 comments:

Monogram Queen said...

You jest but I lived on the fringes of Lee County for a few years and I can believe he DOES live there in a few places. Yikes!
My sister had a Lizard Man t-shirt, if I ever see one - it's mine!
Vive Le' Lizard Man!

Debbie said...

I'm not coming to visit you! I think I'm allergic to lizard:)

Scarlet said...

I will afraid to close my eyes tonight for fear of dreaming of the SC Lizard Man! Yikes!

I love that last photo, Greg! :)

Katherine Aucoin said...

I'm not a reptile lover either. Can I send you any reptilian creatures I find in my yard? I mean I don't want those PETA wackos breathing down my neck ;-)

Terri Tiffany said...

Loved this! But I won't visit either since I'd freak so bad I'd drop of a heart attack.
You need one of those follower gadgets on your blog as it makes it easier to find you again!

B His Girl said...

Should I be worried in FL? Our lizards crawl on the ground. B

Chatty Kelly said...

The man afraid of spiders is not afraid of Lizard Man...must be that liquid courage. LOL! You crack me up!!

(My favorite line was "almost spilling your spit cup." Only a true Southerner would get that!)

Carmen Gamble said...

I don't mean to be naive...but what exactly is a spit cup? Do I want to know? It sounds kinda nasty, I have to say! Anyhow, in the last picture your lizard man looks a little worried. Kinda cute really...okay, so maybe I have a little thing for lizards...sigh.

Beverlydru said...

Okay, what are you up to!?! I'm scratching my head.

Edie said...

I'm cracking up over here. That lizard man looks pretty tame to me. Send him over here, I seem to be good at squishing lizard in the back door.

Ruth D~ said...

You redeemed yourself. thought you were nuts. Seriously nuts. Now I know you're only kidding nuts. :>)

Marla said...

I hate lizards. I hope I never meet up with the lizard man. Your way to funny!!

Sandy said...

Well heck, I actually believe you..but then maybe I had a shot of Jack D. hahaha.

funny post Greg.

ChrisJ said...

I think you are pulling our legs!! But I did like your last photo. He reminds me of the Gecko on that insurance commercial. Now I think HE is cute!

skoots1mom said...

Have you been visiting Scape Ore Swamp in your dreams? If your skin turns green and scaly or your eyes turn orange....
lets us in on the press day and the dates of your national tour on the talk shows...you'll be a hit!

Debbie @Like a Rose said...

Heehee! Thanks for the much needed laugh.

Thanks too for you kind, encouraging comment and for your prayers. They are appreciated.

Edwina at The Picket Fence said...

Greg, Greg, Greg, my dear friend, things haven't changed much...I have been checking in on you. I am afraid I will have to leave that Lizard Man to you, they are not my friend.

Lori said...

Oh my, That gives me the willies.

Suzanne Casamento said...

Greg, you've gotta lay off the Jack! ;)

Hilarious post. As usual.

GutsyWriter said...

Perhaps it's a croc from down under? Ever thought of that?

Becky said...

LOL, nothin' like a giant blue belly in yer back yard to spice up yer life. We gots dem bigfoots round these parts... look lots like dem blackbears. ;-)

Structure or Content said...

The only thing scary about Lizard People is the revenue from T-Shirts!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WwElq2iu9bY

SHOO7E72 said...

The lizard man usually only only eats small animals but there has been attacks on humans.what usually happens is either he kills or scratches or even will take a huge chunk out of your face or anywhere facts from the Show LOST TAPES on Animal Planet

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