It’s that time again. Spring! And most people know that means March Madness. Of course that is followed by April insanity and “More of the same” May. Finally things begin to slow down in June and life returns to normal. Spring is my favorite time of year but it is the time when I am the most miserable. Not only do I not like basketball, there is evil out there waiting to knock me down.
The madness has already begun. As usual, I have begun my transformation from Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde. I do it every year for as long as I can remember. It is a curse that I was born with and nothing I do makes the transformation any easier. You see I have allergies. No I have really bad allergies. To tell the truth I have the worst allergies on the planet. I hate to boast but I really think it is true. I was tested some time ago and I believe I tested positive to everything that they tested for. Here are my worst enemies: Tree and grass pollen. And this time of year, they are all blooming.
Now those of you that have allergies are going to say; Have you tried this or that remedy and I have to say, yes, I have tried them all. If they make IT, I have tried IT. And just for our ex President Clinton, I will define “IT”. “It” is everything known to man. They are too numerous to mention but it is safe to say that none of them worked. The only relief I get this time of year is when I am asleep or unconscious. Now since my sinuses are stuffed tighter than a Thanksgiving Turkey and I sleep with a breathing machine for sleep apnea, I don’t get much sleep or relief. I did find that if I take about 4 Benadryl along with about a cup of Nyquil, I will pass out and then get some relief. However I can’t function the next day so that isn’t a good idea.
So all I can do is grin and bear it this time of year and have my usual fantasies. Yes I do have fantasies this time of year despite my pain and suffering. I have two predominant ones. In the first, I am a lumberjack that is out of control. I am sort of a Paul Bunyan type that goes through the forest cutting down tree after tree just so they can’t drop their evil pollen. In the end there are no trees left and so no pollen and all the allergy sufferers like me are happy. In the second fantasy, I am a chemist and I invented something more powerful than Roundup. I get in an airplane and go crop dusting over huge fields of grass and kill all the grass before It can spread it’s evil pollen. Happy fantasies aren’t they. Well they are for me.
So far today I am feeling pretty good. I am just a little stuffed and tired. I hope your day is going well too.
Have a great pollen free day,