Monday, March 9, 2009

March Madness

It’s that time again. Spring! And most people know that means March Madness. Of course that is followed by April insanity and “More of the same” May. Finally things begin to slow down in June and life returns to normal. Spring is my favorite time of year but it is the time when I am the most miserable. Not only do I not like basketball, there is evil out there waiting to knock me down.

The madness has already begun. As usual, I have begun my transformation from Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde. I do it every year for as long as I can remember. It is a curse that I was born with and nothing I do makes the transformation any easier. You see I have allergies. No I have really bad allergies. To tell the truth I have the worst allergies on the planet. I hate to boast but I really think it is true. I was tested some time ago and I believe I tested positive to everything that they tested for. Here are my worst enemies: Tree and grass pollen. And this time of year, they are all blooming.

Now those of you that have allergies are going to say; Have you tried this or that remedy and I have to say, yes, I have tried them all. If they make IT, I have tried IT. And just for our ex President Clinton, I will define “IT”. “It” is everything known to man. They are too numerous to mention but it is safe to say that none of them worked. The only relief I get this time of year is when I am asleep or unconscious. Now since my sinuses are stuffed tighter than a Thanksgiving Turkey and I sleep with a breathing machine for sleep apnea, I don’t get much sleep or relief. I did find that if I take about 4 Benadryl along with about a cup of Nyquil, I will pass out and then get some relief. However I can’t function the next day so that isn’t a good idea.

So all I can do is grin and bear it this time of year and have my usual fantasies. Yes I do have fantasies this time of year despite my pain and suffering. I have two predominant ones. In the first, I am a lumberjack that is out of control. I am sort of a Paul Bunyan type that goes through the forest cutting down tree after tree just so they can’t drop their evil pollen. In the end there are no trees left and so no pollen and all the allergy sufferers like me are happy. In the second fantasy, I am a chemist and I invented something more powerful than Roundup. I get in an airplane and go crop dusting over huge fields of grass and kill all the grass before It can spread it’s evil pollen. Happy fantasies aren’t they. Well they are for me.
So far today I am feeling pretty good. I am just a little stuffed and tired. I hope your day is going well too.

Have a great pollen free day,
Greg

20 comments:

Monogram Queen said...

Yikes I feel for you, I really do. I know how miserable I feel and can only imagine it is magnified 100x for you. Be well, my friend.

B His Girl said...

I have no potion to offer but I know God loves trees and you. I pray God will give you a normal sized head :) (not all stuffed up) and clarity of mind. Have you tried Claritin? Oops, sorry. Of course you have. Thank you Lord for saving the trees! May Greg's garden be well watered and pollen free. B

Katherine Aucoin said...

I hope your allergies calm down real soon so you can enjoy the lovely weather!

Angie said...

Such an apt title. I was dreading talk of basketball at first though.

I hear you Greg. I'm sneezing with you. You'll notice at my blog that I've been spending time outside too. It's just mind over matter, Astelin spray, and kleenexes in the pocket for me. It's worth it to endure the symptoms.

Debbie said...

My husband has allergies and one of my kids has had them in the past. I feel for you.

Carmen Gamble said...

I'm so sorry to hear that, Greg! Especially since you love Spring. My hubby has allergies too, but not as bad as yours. Take care of yourself, and please, don't over-medicate!;)

Scarlet said...

Maybe that's why I haven't been sleeping well and sneezing nonstop. That or it could have something to do with the evil Siberian Husky puppy we adopted a while back.

PS - Just kidding about the evil thing; she's a little angel (when she's sleeping).

Feel better, Greg! :)

Edie said...

I am so sorry for you Greg. I didn't have allergies until about 15 years ago. They seem to get worse every year and this year I noticed that the Claritin didn't seem to work like before so I spent the last two months mostly suffering. I seem to be mostly allergic to mountain cedar so it hits me hardest in Dec and Jan.

Will say a prayer that YOU have a pollen free day (or month). :)

Sharon said...

Allergies are terrible and yes I think most of us do suffer from this. some worse than others for sure! The itchy eyes, and ears, making me dizzy kinda thing is what gets me. I know I am not suppose to water around my house but I can't help it, everything is green, do you have that?
Anyways no rain for 2 weeks :( it's just gonna get worse. I like all my trees and grass though, so I will suffer for alittle while.
I would rather deal with this than the hurricane's.
Have a blessed day my friend

Chatty Kelly said...

Poor you! I have mild allergies, usually late in March is the worse. My daughter too. But nothing like you. :-( Poor guy.

Suzanne Casamento said...

Geez. That sounds awful. I'm going to count my allergyless blessings. I hope you the madness is mild.

I love your fantasies. Especially the one about cutting down all the trees. I bet you could write a children's book about that with some kind of moral about not messing with nature.

Or maybe not.

GutsyWriter said...

My solution for you, is to MOVE during the spring to Belize. Nice ocean breezes. The salt water will flush out your sinuses when you snorkel among the tropical fish. How does that sound?

TheWritersPorch said...

Greg,
I used to go through the same thing years ago. Then a ninety year old man told me to chew honey comb caps from honey that was made in my region. It worked! I haven't been bothered with allergies in twenty years. I still eat alot of honey but not from here, I buy sourwood in the Smokies and bring it back. Maybe you haven't tried this?

skoots1mom said...

i have recently discovered FLONASE...love it.
I remember Liddie promoting a "netty pot"...haven't tried that yet, but I do remember anytime I was at the beach and sucked in a lot of sea water, my head was clear for a week.
Will be praying your allergic reactions won't be as horrible this year -- sending a special praying angel to watch over
you 0:) <

Susan Skitt said...

Allergies stink! I am suffering all ready this year and have been moving right into sinus infections as a result. I think I am a bit run down right now too.

Won't it be wonderful in Heaven - no allergies!!! Just a little something to look forward to :)

Have a nice day Greg.

ChrisJ said...

I have had similar problems for years -- tho not quite as bad as yours. The desert is the place I can't go -- just at the prettiest time of the year! The sage makes me feel like I have asthma. Nasty! But I have a different batch of allergies in the fall

Beverlydru said...

Well, at least you've got lots of sympathy. I love spring and have always felt sorry for people with bad allergies- it's gotta make it harder to enjoy it.

Jenny said...

I hate allergies. I get severe sinus headaches that feel like migraines this time of year.

Sandy said...

hiccup....I just tried your remedy four benadryl and a cup of Nyquil. I feel great!!!

I also feel for you. I have been there and done that. Never quite knew what causes it all though. I just grin and bare it...oops I mean grin and bear it...well whatever.

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