Monday, April 6, 2009

It's a conspiracy I tell you!!!

Ok I knew something was up but in my wildest dreams I never imagined who was behind it all. The first indication that something was awry was the squirrels. You know those cute little rodents that are akin to rats. Well for the last year or so I noticed that they were out there watching us. Not just occasionally but all the time. Then it was the possums. I think about every other day one or two ran out in front of me as I drove to work. Not to mention the one that attacks me at my door nightly. And what about the raccoons? Is it coincidence that whenever I had do swerve to dodge a possum there was always a raccoon watching the incident unfold? And finally the two deer incidents within one week. This should have been my signal to turn and run. But nooooooooooooo I stayed and fought it out.

Well today was D-Day and I finally put it all together, only it was a little too late. You see the squirrels were doing surveillance on us humans. Waiting, watching and letting the big guys know when it was time to strike. The possums were decoys, trying to see if we were taking the bait while the raccoons quietly watched. The deer were the kamikaze pilots attacking us with the first strike to see how we reacted. But the real mastermind to this plot were the wild turkeys. Hard to believe isn't it. But they were and are the ones we have to be watching for. Yes fellow humans, they are the ones out to get us.





And here is the proof. Today, as my family was coming home, a flock of wild turkeys attacked them. My son was driving and not as seasoned as I am so he swerved. (me I am thinking dinner opportunity) When he tried to return the car to the road, the car spun and then flipped, rolling over and over until it ended up facing the other way on the road. After getting out and soaking the road with blood, my family realized that not only was the car totaled, we wouldn't be having turkey for dinner. The darn birds escaped unharmed.







So the firemen arrived and washed all the blood off the road and the policeman arrived and filled out a report and the EMS arrived but my family refused to go with them, but I came home and took everyone to the DR to get checked out. Everyone is ok because they had their seat belts on but my wife and oldest son are bruised and scraped and cut up pretty bad. Oh when I got home I almost cut off one of my fingers. Do you know how hard it is to type without one finger?

So the moral to this story is that even a turkey can be in charge, LOL

Ok seriously now, Thank you God for protecting my family. It was very serious and we are all alive. Things could have been worse.

Praise God. And have a great day!!!!

Greg

26 comments:

Patrice said...

OH MY GOODNESS, I am so glad that everyone is okay!!!! Those critters that live around you are starting to scare me!! You need protection....want to borrow my teenage boy and all his hunting gear???

Lori said...

PTL all are safe.

The Dental Maven said...

Wow! Glad everyone is safe. There's a reason it's called The Animal Kingdom!

Katherine Aucoin said...

Thank goodness your family was relatively unharmed. That is just plain crazy with all of the animals! I think I'd leave the house packing heat.

Patience said...

Oh my goodness!! Nearly done in by a turkey?!?

Glad all ended up okay!

Terri Tiffany said...

Oh my gosh!! What a story! ANd your car! You surely didn't need this and glad you are all okay!

Chatty Kelly said...

Dear Jesus - thank you so mcuh for keeping Greg & his family safe. Be with his son as he returns behind the wheel some time in the future to give him a spirit of confidence and not fear. May the family heal quickly. In your name, Amen.

Greg - so glad you are all okay. I love your sense of humor, even in the face of adversity. Let's see if you're still smiling when you get your next car insurance bill. LOL! Just kidding.

Monogram Queen said...

Oh my lord! I am so glad you are all okay, you are right - it could have been SO much WORSE!
There is a partially paved road across from my neighborhood that I often use to go back and forth to school, the Farmers Market, Work etc. (unless it's rained because usually the dirt part is packed as firm as can be with no dust even). Anyway - I digress!
I see a flock of wild turkeys a LOT on that road but you can bet i'll crawl along proceeding with caution now that I know how sneaky those buggers are.

Greg, let's be careful out there, ok?

Beverlydru said...

Oh mercy... the wildlife in your area are becoming notorious. How scary was that?! I'm so glad they are okay.

Belle (from Life of a...) said...

Oh Good Heavens...I'm so glad that you're all alright.

Sharon said...

SURE GET ANYTHING YOU WANT OFF MY SITE :)

My ADHD Me said...

Believe me, I feel for you all!
What a blessing there were no serious injuries.

Don't feel bad when you get the car insurance bill, They like you..They REALLY Like You!!

Suzanne Casamento said...

WOW. That sounds like a very scary accident. I'm glad everyone is safe.

But a turkey dinner would have been a bonus. ; )

MGBHLH said...

I am so glad everyone is just bruised. It could have been much worse.

Your first instinct is to swerve - I did the same thing a few months ago and swerved to miss the neighbor's cat and hit a brick "wall"....next time - I will hose off my tire.

Kristen said...

Goodness! I'm so glad everyone is okay! Turkeys are EVIL. My friend used to have to escort his co-workers out to their cars after work because a pack of turkeys would lay in wait and attack. Animals seem to have some kind of vendetta against you!

Chel's Leaving a Legacy said...

Oh wow, Greg. I haven't read a blog in about a MONTH, but I got your comment and wanted to let you know I hadn't deserted you guys all together. And then I read this!

How terrible and scary, but so glad your family is okay. Whew. Aren't you glad God was in control of that car and not anyone else?? :-)

Nice touch, the conspiracy theory. Just like you to draw those masterful conclusions. lol

Carmen Gamble said...

Oh Greg! That's a horrible experience! I've been gone a week, and this is the first post I read...I hope everyone is still doing well!

I want to do something to help...we're celebrating Easter this weekend in Canada, and I'm going to go out and buy a turkey just to show all the other turkeys what happens when they prey on my friend and his family! That'll show 'em! =)

Seriously though, I'm glad to hear no one was badly hurt, and I'm sorry about the car!

Peggy said...

OMG;
I was reading along and expecting a funny end to the story and then I saw the pictures. I'm sooooooooooo glad that you all are ok...whew. God is Good!
Time for a new car, I think! DUH right!

Edie said...

Oh my goodness! I'm so glad you are all ok. Now it's just not nice to make us roll over laughing then spring something so serious on us! You should be ashamed of yourself! jk :)

I'm so sorry you missed your dinner opportunity too. :)

Becky said...

Praise God you all are still in one piece considering how the car looks.

Still you made me lol with that turkey in charge line.

Debbie @Like a Rose said...

Mother Nature does seem out to get you. Good thing you've got God on your side! Maybe you need to get bumper stickers that say "We eat road kill." to scare the critters away from your vehicles.

Seriously though, I'm so glad everyone is okay. I remember how scary and painful that can be. Seat belts definitely help protect you from worse injuries but they do leave some pretty wicked bruises of their own. I am thanking God for protecting your family as He did ours.

Gnightgirl said...

I'm glad everyone's ok, Greg. Very scary!

Pam from alertandorientedx4 said...

OH MY! I'm so glad that everyone is relatively ok....and I read your post today (Weds) and think you are right...but...ouch! Poor, poor van!
www.driversedge.org

Rosezilla said...

WOW. I'm so grateful your family isn't hurt any worse. I know they must be pretty shaken up, and probably even more sore today. Maybe it is bb gun time? scares without hurting. Or is it 22 time and dinner?

Sandy said...

Wow, this really happened!!! Thank God they are all okay, ...

and by the way great photo of the culprit..

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