Sunday, September 27, 2009

Is it Blogworthy?


If you are like me then your blogging talents aren’t greatly appreciated by your family. I can deal with this fact. So when someone in my family makes the statement; Dad, that’s blogworthy then you owe it to your family and the blog community as a whole to tell the story. And I do think it is a good story too. The only problem I had was what to call it.

Here are some names I came up with:

A stink bug by any other name…..

Something that really doesn’t taste like chicken……

Bugs, they aren’t just for birds anymore……

“And-I-gotta-da-beatle” baby…… (you may show your age if you know what this one meant)

I ate a bug and I (didn’t) like it…….

A lot of things in this world don’t make sense on the surface. Take spiders. They are scary, they are annoying and they have a tendency to spin their webs in places where I walk. But I do know without them the world would be overrun with bugs. And then there are fire ants. Anyone that has been stung by these little fire bugs knows that they pack a punch and can actually kill you if you get stung by too many. But they too have a purpose in this world because they help aureate the soil and help plants grow.

But then there are stink bugs. I can’t for the life of me figure out a use for them. They don’t do anything productive. They eat crops and spread fungus from garden to garden. Nothing eats them. (well up until now) and they aren’t even particularly attractive. Enter my story:

It was a typical day at the Market. The sun was shining. (0h wait, it was actually cloudy) The birds were singing. (Well we couldn’t hear them but I am sure they were singing somewhere) Children were playing. (wait there were very few children at the market)
OK, let me start again.

The day started out dark and gloomy. There were very few people and it looked like it would rain at any moment. However we stuck it out and by noon managed to salvage our day. Sales were down a little but they could have been worse. I was ok with what we sold. A nice lady from a few booths down stopped by and asked us if we had eaten lunch. My son replied no so she instructed him to follow her and he did. He soon returned with two nice sandwiches and a big brownie. And the best part was it was free. Most people at the market are very nice and giveaways like that aren’t all that rare.

We each had our sandwich and then began to split the brownie. It was great and I was busy inhaling it when it happened. A small stink bug the size of an eraser flew up in my face. It most likely came off of the plants in the next booth since our plants don’t have any bugs….Anywhoo, I brushed the bug away from my face but he did an immediate u-turn and flew right into my mouth without me knowing. As I began to bite down on the brownie again, I felt the bug in my mouth but my bite was in motion so I heard this crunch followed by that smell of a stinkbug, followed by an intense burning in my mouth followed by spit, spit spit, gag, gag, “Get me some water” gag, spit “hurry” (breath Greg, don’t throw up at the Market) Whew that was a close one.

I managed to get him out and didn’t totally crunch it because he crawled away after I spit it out but I learned why nothing messes with stink bugs. Not only are they unattractive, and smelly. They don’t taste very good either. And that about wraps it up for another addition of: “Strange but true.”

Have a Great Day,


Kelly Combs said...

I am literally laughing out loud!!! (I'm sorry, I can't help it). That is the funniest thing, and I love the way you tell a story.

"'Get me some water' gag, spit 'hurry' (breath Greg, don’t throw up at the Market) " Wahahaha!

And look at the valuable lesson we all learned...why no creature in nature (except Greg) eats stink bugs.

Beverlydru said...

Oh mercy, if they taste anything like they smell, that was truly gross.

I think you put the right title and I'm glad your family is having fun in the love of blog fodder too.

sara said... how did you keep from puking right there? yuck!!!

so how hard was your son laughing?!!

My ADHD Me said...

oh, how awful.
it must have been terrible.
i feel so bad for you.

Leslie said...

Yucky, but funny!!! (At least to me!) I had a stink bug in the shower with me the other day. As soon as I got out, I grabbed a tissue, tossed him in the toilet and flushed away! I'll always think of you whenever I see a stink bug from now on!

Blessings, Leslie

Monogram Queen said...

Whew that made me laugh too but I gagged a little bit. I hate stink bugs! Blech.
I am still not buying the "fireants are useful" either!

BTW we aren't coming down to Charleston after all, it's Beaufort but I will make it down in Nov. for sure!

skoots1mom said...

eeeeewwwwwwww, glad you didn't bite him in half in you mouth...eeeeeeewwwww.
it was blogworthy :)

2Thinks said...

eeeuww, ick! I didn't know they would smell if you bit one, though, so this post was educational for me. I suppose they smell if you stomp on them, too,right? See, I did not really know why they were called stink bugs in general- until now.

This is funny, funny, funny. I am so glad you did not throw up at the market- soooo glad!

Deb said...

I am so sorry but I am in tears right now laughing!!!....I'm also picturing the dance you must have been doing while the gagging was going on!!....
I remember years ago when my Poppaw was visiting and he was telling yet another one of his "bear" stories..he'd gotten so excited and was standing up next to a light....where there was a moth...and the moth was trying to stay away from the light....and thought Poppaw's mouth was a wonderfully dark place to hide!!..except the moth wasn't as lucky as your stink bug and he became Poppaw's snack!!! I still crack up about that one over 30 years later!!!

Terri Tiffany said...

You have some interesting things happen to you!! I don't think I've ever seen a stink bug--now I know I'm not missing anything.:) have a happy day!

Edie said...

Computer Girl is wondering why I'm laughing so hard. Eeeeewwwwee!!

My heart goes out to you Greg. Talk about something that can give you bad breath. I hope you had a tooth brush handy. :)

Katherine Aucoin said...

My that is gross! I was twisting and getting squeemish as I was reading this, but could I stop reading? NO!!!!

What a wierd turn of events.

Call this "I Fought the Bug and the Bug Won" ;-)

Texas Playwright Chick said...

GARK! I am feeling the crunch, the nasty flavor...against my will! Eeewww....BUT, YES, blogworthy! My family hardly read my blog too...except my mom in law! Which I am thankful for.

Excellent stinkbug post!

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