(Note this is intended to be humerous. I hope it doesn't offend anyone)
Those of you who know me well, know that I am always on the cutting edge or should I say the leading edge when it comes to new and exciting things. When there is a new technology or product out there you can bet you will hear about it here first. And the same goes for new and innovative ideas. My brain is often where these cutting edge ideas first surface. And this is no exception.
I have known that something was in the works for some time. As they say; The stars and planets have been aligning so I knew some big idea was about to pop into my brain and it has. Before I spill the beans though, let me just list the facts:
1. We need change. That seems to be the buzz phrase these days although I don’t remember who said it first.
2. You got to believe. Again another popular phrase these days but again I don’t know who said it first.
3. Many people are searching for answers these days but need concrete answers that they can believe in.
4. The world has become scientific and mathematical. Everything must be proven. People spend their whole lives trying to prove why fish slime stinks or why frog legs taste like chicken or why E=M(C squared). If it isn’t concrete or proven then it must be false.
5. Many people these days spend more time trying to figure out loop holes in the law than trying to follow the law.
6. Since we have run out of new ideas, the fad seems to be to rewrite old ideas. For instance they are doing a remake of the Wizard of Oz because the first one just wasn’t good enough.
7. I have always wanted to be a writer but I never seem to have enough ideas to finish a book.
So this idea came to mind…. A “Customizable Bible.” I know there have been many versions written over the years but this one will be different. It is customizable because a there will be options so you can pick and choose the things you want to believe or follow. And I have taken out the "unbelievable" parts and replaced them with proven facts.
For instance, instead of the traditional 10 commandments there will be lots more but here is the thing: You don’t have to follow them all. You can pick the ones you want to follow and disregard the rest. And if you are having a really bad day, just throw them all out the window and do whatever makes you happy. And instead of one ending there will be alternate endings so everyone is happy. Sounds great doesn’t it? And for those people who need positive proof of everything I will be rewriting the beginning and adding in little scientific experiments to keep your interest. Well enough talk about it, let me give you a sample and remember this is based on scientific evidence so it must be true.
In the beginning there was a huge mass of rock floating around in space. It was larger than anyone could comprehend.
(Wait that would be impossible since everything must be proven so it was slightly smaller than “larger than anyone could comprehend”.)
Then all of a sudden this mass just exploded. Nothing like starting out a story with a big bang is there. After the big bang, everything flew into space and we had the universe as we know it.
You will need a very large rock, some dynamite and a very long fuse.
Insert the dynamite under the rock, light fuse and run.
Now come back and pick up the pieces. You should have nice round rocks resembling small planets, globes of burning Hydrogen and little sharp fragments of rocks.
Hmm that didn’t work, all I got was some sharp rocks so let’s start again.
In the beginning there was a huge round mass of gas. (Same size as the rock above)Then one day it exploded and the universe was formed.
You will need a large cylinder of hydrogen and a longer fuse than the one above. (Please don’t really try this at home)
Attach the fuse to the cylinder and run to your car and then drive as fast as you can. After you feel the shock wave come back and see what is left. There should be burning globes of gas, and some round objects resembling little planets and also some sharp little rocks. Hmmm another failure. Maybe we need more hydrogen.
I believe we can prove this if we just keep trying. All it takes is a little faith in human ingenuity.
In the beginning there was a black hole. (Same size as the rock and hydrogen above) (For those that aren’t familiar with black holes they are black voids in space where something used to be. Basically they are “nothingness that occupies a position in space) Then all of a sudden this nothingness exploded and something was formed called the universe. (It makes perfect sense now, no need to do an experiment on this one)
This was easier than I thought. Just wait until I tell you how the meteor hit mars knocking off a large chunk of ice, and that ice possibly contained a small single cell amoeba made it to earth after surviving the 10,000 degree entry into the atmosphere and started life as we know it. You are going to love it.
I only have a few questions to have answered to make this theory solid as a rock;
Where did the rock or gas or black hole come from? And where did the life on Mars come from? Anyone? Anyone? Anyone? Well back to the drawing board.
As for me I Believe in God.
Until next time this is your on (Or over) the edge reporter saying have a great day,