Monday, October 12, 2009

Monday Odds and Ends

It was an interesting weekend to say the least. Saturday I had to run back and forth between my regular job and the one at the Market. It was nothing short of a miracle that I was able to pull it off. The day flew by too because I stayed so busy.

Most people would agree that Wadmalaw Island is not a good place to drop off dead bodies. We are a small community and anything out of the ordinary is usually noted by the local residents. Obviously, someone didn’t get the memo because Saturday they found the remains of a missing person less than two miles from where I live. We have recently been seeing lots of police out in our area but we didn’t know why until Saturday. All the facts aren’t in yet but there are rumors of this being a drug related killing. Scary stuff.

So Saturday night I went with my oldest son to the Zac Brown Band (ZBB) concert. He is a country singer with recent hits like “Chicken Fried” and “Toes”. Despite the threatening weather and the fact that the concert was at an outside stadium we managed to have a good time. The Family Circle Cup Stadium ended up being packed but a lot of people didn’t get there until late. We however got there early and were among the first people who were let in the gate. After drying off the seats with my jacket, we settled in for a little people watching before the concert.

I have a few comments about the concert:

A concert is not the place to practice your whistling especially if you aren’t good at it. And it is not the place to test the volume on your I-pod speakers. When the music starts getting distorted and hurting the eardrums of everyone around you, it is too loud. Take my word for it.

Here is a little fashion tip for those 70 year old groupies out there. That slinky lace slip top and ragged jean (micro) mini-skirt look that you used to wear when you were 16…..It might be time to give it up. No one wants to see a silver haired Grandma with a shirt split down to the naval and a dress so short you flash everyone when you walk. Well except maybe Grandpa. Sorry I think I just threw up in my mouth imaging my grandma dressed like that.

Apparently there were some people at the concert that were really thirsty. The lines weren’t too bad at first but by the time the concert started, you had to wait 30 to 45 minutes in line just to get a drink.

Draught Beer….$5.00
Bottled Water….$3.00
Having to wait 30 minutes to Pee after waiting 45 minutes for a drink…..Priceless.

But the good news is by the time you made it out of the bathroom your drink was gone and you could get right back in the drink line.

Texting the guy right beside you should be illegal.

Here is part of the conversation that went on between the guy beside me and the guy behind him:

Hey Bro, did you get the text I sent you today?
No I didn’t
Ok Bro, I will send it again now but it is bad so don’t let anyone else see it.
Kewl Bro.

Am I missing something with this texting thing? They were one foot apart. Why send a text?

I Have a message for the two girls that were in front of us with their boyfriends.

Girl #1. Pulling your boyfriend out of his tree stand to take you to a concert was a bad idea. He wasn’t watching the concert and was mad about being there. (Did you notice how he stared at the ground the entire time? That was a hint #1. Clue #2 was the fact that he still had on his hunting clothes) If you want to get his attention in the future, try getting a camo outfit and put on a little deer scent. That should do the trick.

Girl #2. That was a hot little dance that you were doing but your boyfriend didn’t have the view that we did. Perhaps it would be better to do that one in the privacy of your own home where you can use your dance pole. I’m not sure what music you were dancing to but it wasn’t the stuff we were listening to. Or should I say tried to listen to.

Why do people go to a concert and then talk the entire time? That’s what the people behind us did. And they weren’t even talking about the concert. It would have been cheaper to buy the CD, sit at home where it was dry and then you could talk without bothering anyone. And then you wouldn’t have spent $150.00 on cheap beer. (I counted)

What happened to going to a concert to SEE and Hear the concert? I’m just saying,

Have a great Monday,


lailani said...

lol! Oh the image you were bringing to mind - my image was of the daytime hooker off of earl! hope you had a peppermint to off the upchuck!

Funny post! (Even if in reality it was not) ;)

Heart2Heart said...


Too funny! I guess that is why we don't go to concerts any longer. The last one I attended about 4 years ago was Dave Matthews with a friend that got me a free ticket.

People everywhere were smoking pot that you could get high just being there. The concert wasn't the greatest and I was more than happy to sit out any future offers.

Love and Hugs ~ Kat

2Thinks said...

Yeah, I don't think a concert sounds appealing anymore, really. Though I did enjoy the Michael W. Smith/Steven Curtis Chapman Hallelujah tour earlier this year. Completely different type of crowd and environment.

In earlier days, I saw Elton John, Yes, Bruce Springsteen, REO Speedwagon- in concert. Seems like a lifetime ago and a completely different person lived inside my body.

skoots1mom said...

Why would someone even use I-pod speakers @ a concert??

I totally are tough past 40

Wow, a Coke for $4, nope

Waiting to 'tinkle' is much harder than waiting in the drink line...especially AFTER 40 :)

Aren't hunting clothes hot? I mean, temperature wise...

People talking the entire time is the reason i NEVER go to our Chastain Park concerts anymore...they're no fun when you can't hear the music b/c of the talking...

wish it could have been better 4 u...

Kelly Combs said...

Greg, Greg, Greg. You crack me up. So did you have a good time at least? Was the music worth it?

I've only been to 2 live concerts in my life.

First was Milla-Vinalla - and turns out they were lip snyching.

The 2nd was Elton John/Billy Joel. The girl sitting RIGHT NEXT TO me was drunk, and ended up punching out the girl sitting in front of her because she kept standing up and dancing (and blocking our view). I ended up moving to sit on the top row of the standium, until the ushers took her away. She was on her first date with the guy with her. I wonder if he asked her out again....

That's why I don't go to concerts. Like you said, buy the CD and enjoy it in the warmth of your own home with "free" or cheap drinks, and no line in the bathroom. :-)

Beth.. One Blessed Nana said...

still crackin' up over this one Greg. You captured it to a tee and I can relate to so much of it!

You are a delightful man.

Edie said...

I've never been big on concerts for all these reasons. It seems like they have always been this way to me. Well, there was that New Kids on the Block concert my daughter won tickets to see. A bunch of moms and tweeners was fairly safe. :)

You're always funny Greg. I need to get more of your perspective.

Scarlet said...

You're hilarious! I'll have to remember not to wear a mini skirt and show my belly button when I hit my 70s. ;)

(J/K...I didn't dress that way at 16 and I sure as hell don't dress that way NOW!)

I'd always wanted to see the Rolling Stones in concert...but after reading this post, I'm a little wary. :)

The Dental Maven said...

"Fashion Sense" is often an oxymoron.

Monogram Queen said...

People are stupid - plain and simple.

That IS scary about the body, I remember when we lived on Warley St. in florence and two murders happened within a block of us in like two weeks.

MGBHLH said...

Thank you for the laugh today!

I agree, if you wore it when you were 16 or 20 -- DO NOT wear it once you hit 50 - 60 or heaven forbid 70!!! Been there-seen it-and have the mental scars.... Just part of living in the South (and I love it) I am just a little too old for concerts. Last one was an outside venue - Jimmy Buffett....the 18 year old child swigging the vodka out of the gallon bottle - throwing up and drinking more -- I realized I had become my Mother.

Debbie @Like a Rose said...

Sounds like the last concert I was at if you add the couple beside us that should have just spent the ticket money on a ROOM!

And if you had to wait 30 minutes to pee I can't imagine how long the wait was for the girls!

BTW - my camera now is a Pentax Optio E30

Texas Playwright Chick said...

Very funny and informative post! Hunting clothes? Deer scent? THAT, my friend, is priceless!

Heckety said...

I'm laughing so hard I can hardly see to type! You have the gift of stating the obvious in such a hilarious way that I hope no one recovering from abdominal surgery is reading this post...

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