Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Just my luck.

My wife says I have the luck of the Irish. Good things always seem to happen to me. I have also been told that I have a horseshoe stuck somewhere but I am not going to say where. But today I found out that the first was true but not the latter.

After 5 years of fighting it, I got forced into having my 50 thousand mile checkup. Also known as the dreaded colonoscopy. Now that it is over I have to say that the procedure was nothing but the goop that they have you drink the day before was the worst thing I have even put in my mouth. And I ate slugs in Italy. It tasted like lemonade but it had the consistency of thick gravy. I got the first bottle down ok but had to choke the second one down. If given the option, take the pills.

The procedure was nothing and here is the lucky part: I got there early and the person who was supposed to go before me was late so they let me go first. So I was in and out in less than an hour. And I only remember about 30 minutes of it because those were some good drugs they gave me. Anywhoo, guess what? I got a clean bill of health and no there wasn't a horseshoe in there. At least he didn't find it if there was.

So here are some signs that you may have picked the wrong Gastroenterologist:


He actually likes the taste of that liquid goo they make you drink.

He got his diploma while serving a prison sentence.
His website has a live web-cam feature.

“He” turns out to be a “she” and you overhear her talking about her recent painful divorce and how men know nothing about pain.

He wears a miner’s outfit complete with helmet, light and lifeline.

Have a great day,
Greg

3 comments:

Wanda said...

HaHaHa Oh Greg... you are so funny.

My dearest is scheduled for his the Tuesday after Thanksgiving.

I had mine 6 months ago. Clean bill of health also.

Your description is hilarious.

2Thinks said...

I am so gonna pass on this when my time comes, I'm thinking...

Beth.. One Blessed Nana said...

oh my. i just had a good laugh here that i needed really bad!

glad that you got good news about the results of that awful procedure...