Movies I don't care for

Are there any movies that you really don't like? I started to say hate but that is too personal and I save that for just a few people? I am not talking chick flicks that men naturally sleep through. I mean a movie that everyone around you just loves but for some reason you just seem to despise. There are two movies that just don’t do it for me. They are both Christmas movies too and maybe that is part of the problem. Christmas was always a sad time for me. I always asked for really expensive things but got things from the 5 and 10 cent store. I now realize that is all we could afford but it is too late to go back and change the past. Unless anyone would like to send me expensive gifts now. :)

Ok the two movies that I really don't like are “It’s a Wonderful Life” and a “Charley Brown Christmas”. They both have the same plot too if you look at it from a distance. For those that have never seen these movies, here is the plot: They start out making everyone really sad and then toss in a very short happy ending. No wonder they suck so many people into liking them. How can you not like them? Well I saw through their little scam from the start and I refused to be sucked in.

It is like when you are on a trip and you have to pee really really bad and there is no rest stop in sight. Finally you see a sign that says last gas for 50 miles and you know you have to stop. You pull into the little out of the way truck stop and rush to the bathroom only to find the toilet stopped up and stinking. There is water all over the floor and graffiti on the walls but you can’t wait any longer so you go. Well it is the most wonderful feeling in the world and you forget all about the pain you were in for the last hour. Well it is the same with those two movies. I do like Jimmy Stuart though so I will leave that movie alone.

I hate the Charley Brown Christmas though with a passion. It is such a sad story and the music is sad and the kids are sad and it is just sad sad sad. I want to go to the kitchen when it is on and take out a nice sharp knife and silt my wrists. The other reason I hate the movie aside from being shown at Christmas time is that everyone picks on Charlie Brown. Why is this a problem you might ask? Because I was Charlie Brown when I was growing up. I wore drab clothes, I was overweight and everyone picked on me. I hated it. Face it even his dog hates him.

I am not ready to toss the movie out though but I do believe if we made a few changes, we could improve it. The problem is there is not enough humor in the movie. Too much sad, not enough funny. I have a plan though. Have you seen one of those movies where just as the credits start to run, they tell you what happened to the characters? I think that would add some humor to the movie and also give it a little air time. It would go something like this:

Snoopy was arrested for flying his doghouse without a license. He was serving a 10 year sentence at a local dog pound but was recently released with a collar tracking device. .

Woodstock was captured by the Save the Birds Foundation and taken back to the wilds of South America. He is having trouble adapting to life in the wild without a food dish bird bath..

Lucy went on to get her degree in psychiatry. She is employed by Match.com and is the one responsible for giving out bad advice. She is in love with Dr. Phil.

Linus never could give up that security blanket. However he turned his affliction into a thriving security business.

Sally resigned herself to the quiet life in the shadows after her only claim to fame was being Charley’s little sister. She is now a librarian by day and a stripper by night

Schroeder never did become a great composer. He did however sigh up with AC/DC and plays keyboard for the band.

Peppermint Patty went on to coach women’s softball. She could never get over Marcie calling her sir and one day, out of the blue, announced that she was a lesbian. She and Marcie were soon married. Marcie still calls her sir.

Pigpen opened a janitorial service and now cleans homes for a living.

Franklin had trouble with his identity. He was never sure if he was white or black but his complexion was darker than the others. He disappeared into society and there is a rumor that he changed his name and became a famous golfer.

No one knows what happened to Rerun. Most people don’t k now who he was. I think he join another sitcom?

Charley Brown. Is still alive but living in seclusion in South Carolina. He has many psychological problems from being picked on for so many years. I hear he spends a lot of time blogging.


Have a great day
Greg