Yes, Valentie's Day is just around the corner and don’t be fooled like I once was into believing that the statement; “let’s not get anything for each other” really means how it sounds. They say that just to test you and if you do fall for it, you failed. Failing this test is like the groundhog seeing his shadow only it means an entire year of cold if you get my drift.
Now most of us like to think "practical gifts" but Valentine,s is no time to be practical. This is the one holiday that you only get one shot at. I know a gift like this seems like the right thing to give:
But take it from me. Anything that has to do with cleaning is a big no no as far as Valentine’s day presents go.
Also on the practical side, are gifts that you yourself might get some use out of. For instance:
I know, who wouldn’t love one of those beauties but for some reason women don’t like them.
So where does that leave us? Same old same old gifts; Candy, Flowers, Cards, Teddy bear, Naming a star after her? Hmmmmm that last one gave me an idea. And since I am determined to make a Million Dollars this year, I have developed that lame idea into something super spectacular.
Let’s face it. Stars are millions of miles away, and some of them have already burned out (or so they say). That’s like giving her a burned out lightbulb for a present. You know how big that would go over. No I have a much better idea and here it is. (drum roll please)
You could name a squirrel after her. That’s right, a squirrel. Think about it. What is more cute and cuddly than a little grey squirrel? Forget about the fact that they are rodents. Look how cute this one is:
So here is how it works. You send me: not $100, not $50 but only $29.95 plus shipping and handling of course and I will name a squirrel after your loved one. In addition to naming the squirrel after her, I will send along a lovely photo like this:
But wait. You also get this certificate of authenticity.
So don’t delay. Act today. Send me money. The love you save may be your own.
No squirrels were harmed in the making of this add. Please allow one week for delivery. Void where prohibited by law. Not valid in areas where there are no squirrels. Please be kind to animals even if they are rodents. And have a great day,
PS: ladies, if you are still reading this, shame on you. But no need to thank me. Just call me Cupid.