Where do you stand on the issues?

The other night my sister and I were bored so we were watching Presidential debate reruns. (As if it isn’t bad enough the first time.) It was actually highlights showing the differences between Republicans and Democrats. On most issues there were majorities on the right and left with a few mixed in the middle but on one issue it was unanimous and opposite on each side. “Gays and Lesbians in the military”

I am sure everyone knows that the policy is “don’t ask don’t tell” Or in other words “it’s ok as long as no one finds out”. But what is the big problem here? Do we not want gays and lesbians to fight for their country? Heck I know some people that just want to beat up gays just because they are different. No I don’t think that is it. I think it has to do with Homophobia. And Lesbiaphobia. (I made that last one up. Sounds kind of presidential doesn’t it)

For those that don’t know what those terms mean, let me explain. Homophobia is the fear of homos (as the people that have it call them, not me) and Lesbiaphobia is the fear of lesbians and only exists for women. For the information of you women, it doesn’t exist for men. In all my years, I have never seen a man look at a lesbian pictorial in a magazine and say Ewwww. Wow maybe but never Ewwwww. Also for your information, I know that Lesbians are from the island of Lesbos and Gays are from the island of Alcatraz. (Ok I made that up too)

Let me let you women on a little secret and I may be banished from the men’s club for telling you this but here goes. Men look at those pictorials and think; Wow those women are hot. They must not have a man around and have gotten so hot they are going after another woman. They know as soon as they show up with their totally studly body, these beautiful women are going to ask them to join in. Wake up guys. It’s not going to happen.

So what determines that a person is gay? I guess what I am asking is at what point is a person classified as being gay? Is there a black and white line that once you are over it, you are gay, never to return? If you never crossed it then you are straight? Is that how it goes?

I don’t think so. I think there are levels of gay and you lay somewhere on that line. Based on that, we are all gay to some extent. I guess there are some people that are so grossed out that even the word “gay” frightens and sickens them but guess what? You are still reading so you are at least a 1. Let’s see where you fit into the gay scale.

0 Means you are in that group that is totally homophobic but since you are still reading you are now at least a 2.

10 Means you have committed a certain act or acts and don’t care who knows. You would openly attend a gay function with a “friend” So where do I fit on the gay scale? I guess I am probably a 3. I have gay friends but everyone knows I am straight.

Back to this military policy. The Republicans said leave well enough alone and Democrats said throw the policy out. One candidate who will remain nameless (since I really don’t want to start a war here) said “it was my husband’s policy and it seemed like a good idea at first but now I don’t think it is good”. Funny, he said the same thing about an incident when he was in the Whitehouse. Lol Anyway, being ex-military, I am proposing the following policy that the Democrats can adopt if they like. It’s called the “Don’t look don’t touch” policy. Under this policy, Gays and Lesbians can enter the military but they are prohibited from looking at or touching someone else below the belt. Notice I left out lesbian touching in my policy. :)

So where are you on my gay scale and where do you stand on the issue?

If any of you ladies would like to tell me about a particular incident that happened to you and ask my opinion on weather it was gay or not, feel free to email me. Oh pictures would be nice too. I promise not to say Ewwwwww, lol.

The proceeding was intended to be funny. No gays or lesbians were harmed in the production of this post.


Have a great day,
Greg


Oh I have to tell you all this, This is my jobless brother talking who hasn't had a steady job in over 5 years and lives with our mother, As he sat on the porch smoking a cigarette that was bought with my mother's social security. "Greg this neighborhood has gone straight to hell. Too many lazy Mexicans are moving in" OH brother.