Greg's General Store

It’s going to be a great day. Sometimes you just wake up and feel great. Do you ever get that feeling? Like no matter what you do, things just seem to turn out right. I started with a great workout at the gym followed by a clear ride into work with only a little traffic. All the while the radio station I was listening to played nothing but songs I like. I stopped for coffee one last time because starting Monday I will be making coffee in my office. Here is another figure that will amaze you. If I stopped for coffee on my way to work every morning, I would be spending $400.00 a year on coffee. If I make coffee in my office ever morning, it will cost me less than $80.00 a year plus that gives me another 5 minutes to work out at the Gym in the morning. I will also be guaranteed to get a great cup of coffee this way. It’s another win-win-win situation. Can you see these savings adding up? And speaking of the gym, I am running 2.5 miles a day. I enjoy running in the gym because I don’t...

Here is the answer to the riddle I told this past Sunday. It really is quite simple. The problem is that no matter what you ask, each girl will give you the same answer and there is no way to tell who is telling the truth and who is lying. So you have to essentially ask both girls at the same time and then you know the answer is a lie. But remember you can only ask one question so here it is; “If I asked your sister if you were the liar what would she say? No matter which answer you get it will always be false so just invert it and you have the right answer. For instance if you ask the liar that question she will say that the sister would say NO. The sister (the truthful one) would actually say YES but remember you are asking the question to the liar so she will lie and say NO. Confusing isn’t it? The opposite would happen if you were talking with the sister who told the truth. Now if you wanted to figure this out mathematically you could use the formula A(–A) = -(A( squared) ). Where ...

I told in my last post about my most recent sermon and how at the time, I felt like I didn’t get anything out of it. This is about another sermon where I got more than I bargained for. This is a bit long and let me add a disclaimer in case anyone is offended. If you are then all I can say is; you had to be there. This is true in its entirety. I didn’t make this up. The names were changed to protect the innocent. I have a confession. I am not a big fan of funerals. I guess no one really is a "fan" of them. I have never liked them. It’s much deeper than “not like”. I put funerals right up there with spiders. I hate them. If there were a way not to attend my own funeral, I would do it. I hate the sadness and sorrow but mostly I hate “the body.” I don’t need to see the body to have closure. Some people do but not me. Ok in some cases it is an urn full of ashes but you get the picture. And then someone always has to make the statement; He looks so peaceful, or doesn’t she look goo...

I love a good riddle. They make me think and use that grey matter that God gave me and that is a good thing. Too many people go from day to day in the reactive mode and don’t think about what they are doing or saying and really need to exercise their brains to keep the cobwebs out. They want everything spelled out so that they don’t have to think. Here is one of my favorite riddles: A father offers his two daughters to a young man to pick one for marriage. They are identical in looks but they are very different. One is wise, faithful, wealthy, and always tells the truth. The other is foolish, wicked, squanders money and cannot tell the truth. He can have either woman but he must chose by asking only one question. What question should they ask to decide which woman is which? Think about it. Remember one will be lying and the other telling the truth but you don’t know who is who. Riddles come in many different forms. Some are straight forward like the one I just mentioned and others are...

It’s a jungle out there. I know that some companies are already doing cutbacks and layoffs but so far not my company. Thank God for that. However my wife and I decided that before we were forced to make some cutbacks, why not make a few on our own. We are cutting back on some things, laying off others and getting back to basics. There is a new Sprint commercial where the CEO of the company holds up a cell phone and says; “I can’t believe they still call these cell phones” Well I have to agree. I can think of a few adjectives to go along with the description. How about: complicated, overpriced, difficult, extravagant and not necessary. Yes I said it, “not necessary.” I lived for 40 years without a cell phone and I can do it again. Yes we have decided that we can live without cell phones. It will take some getting used to but we think we can manage. It’s not a bad thing though. There are some advantages though to not having a cell phone. For starters, how about and extra $60.00 a ...

Remember Fractured Fairy tales? It was a segment on the Bullwinkle show. It was a short story that was retold in a different perspective. So today I offer this view of an old classic. The Wizard of Oz. "Weeeeerrrrrrr off to see the Wizard" A lot of bloggers are talking about politics these days so I decided to do something different. I thought I would keep with the Wizard of Oz theme going for this post. It is one of my favorite movies of all time by the way. It has a nice girl, munchkins, witches and those adorable flying monkeys that give children nightmares. And of course there is a good moral to the story and that is the best part. What’s not to love? It starts out with a girl who has lost her direction. (or so she thinks) She doesn’t like the way things are going at home so she decides to run away. You might say that she needs change. She meets up with the Wizard. He is a stranger from a strange land. She is immediately in awe of him just because he is a smooth talker an...

For some reason this time of year, people feel the need to decorate their homes with scarecrows. Isn ’t this the wrong time of year to put out a scarecrow? And why are you trying to keep crows out of your house? I guess it has something to do with the fall theme and it goes along with the Indian corn and pumpkins. Maybe people are just bringing the entire garden indoors to keep reminding them of summer as the weather turns colder. I really don’t know. This time of year though I do think of a scarecrow I once made. Back when I was young and growing up in Florida, I always had a garden. One particular year, I decided to put up a scarecrow. It wasn ’t that we had crows in the garden. I just wanted to have one. So I went onto my closet and got out some old clothes. Then I sewed the shirt to the pants and stuffed them with straw. Next I got some paper and masking tape and formed a head. I drew on eyes with a magic marker and then put a hat on the head. I found some old gloves to make hands....

Before I get to what I won, let me tell you about my weekend. Saturday was cold and rainy but we did ok at the market anyway. We got soaked first thing in the morning but the rain finally stopped around 9:30. That's when the temperature started dropping which made us miserable. Good thing I took a megga vitamin C in the morning. So far so good. No signs of a cold. Today was much better. As is usually the case, I made breakfast this morning for my family. I enjoy cooking and especially breakfast. I am out of the house before they are awake during the week so I almost always fix breakfast on Sunday. Today I made bacon and egg biscuits for three of us and piggies for my youngest. Piggies are pigs in blankets, made with those little smokie sausages. After that big breakfast, we waited on lunch until 1pm. Today for lunch, I made fried grouper, baked sweet potatoes, baby turnips and three bean salad. For desert me made smores. I made them in the microwave and it is simple. Just put the b...

Dear Sarah I know you are much too busy and important to read fan mail so I decided to post this letter on my blog. I am sure you read it daily. Doesn’t everyone? I recently saw your political ad for Senator Obama. I must admit that I found it not amusing and highly offensive. I know you are a comedian or at least some people think so but there are some things that just aren’t funny. Things like saying that if your grandmother doesn’t vote for Obama then you won’t visit her next year and that hopefully she won’t get sick. You will feel really bad if she does get sick or dies after saying what you did. So let me tell you about my grandmothers. I knew them both and had them in my life thorough out my entire youth. Grandma Green was born in upstate NY in a little town named Alfred. She had 6 children which she raised alone after her husband left her. They lived in a small house on the edge of a gravel pit and the town’s people gave her the nickname Gravel Greenie. She had a hard life wh...

I pondered this morning over whether or not to post my latest creation but after giving it some thought I decided against it. I read it over and even though it was written in a lite forum, the subject was negative. I know I need to be more positive on my blog so I deleted it. I used to have a neighbor who was always positive. No matter what happened in her life, Wilma always had a smile on her face and was glad to see me. She has since passed away but I still think about her from time to time. I remember one day when she called me and asked if I could come over because her sink was broken. Now at the time, I believe she was in her 70's. When I got there she explained that the drain came loose under her sink and she just wanted to borrow my pipe wrench so she could fix it herself. I laughed and told her I would do it even though she kept insisting. After I finished, she tried to stuff some money in my pocket but I wouldn't take it. There were many such incidents and always she ...

I have been listening to both sides of this political circus and I have to tell you that neither side has a real plan. Trying to nail either one of these candidates down to a solid plan is like trying to push a rope. It can be done but it would take divine intervention. And it isn’t just the presidential candidates beating around the bush. (no pun intended) I heard a couple of congressmen being interviewed the other day and they couldn’t say it either. The host kept asking what their plan would be and they kept saying things like; “The American people want…” and “The American people need….” The host kept asking; “so what is your plan?” But no one being interviewed had a plan. It really reminded me of the first time a girl said I love you to me. I knew I had to say something but not “that” so I beat around the bush. (There I go again) I think I said something like; “I really like you a lot” or “you are more than just a friend”. If I knew then what I know now, I would have just said i...

I just finished my last tag and got that behind me and now I have been tagged again. This one is a doosey though. My parents always used that word “doosey” but you know this is the first time I have tried to spell it so let’s hope spell check can work some magic and fix it if it is wrong. This one came from Patrice . Patrice by the way is the one who redesigned my blog and I think she did a great job although I kind of wanted to see a mermaid in the water. :) She offered a blog make over in her blog as a prize and I won. The challenge is to list 4 things that you hate to admit about yourself. Well here goes nothing 1. I prefer the company of women over men. I hate sports for the most part unless it is a team that I like. Going to a bar with a bunch of guys and talking sports is boring to me (fishing excluded of course). When I was young and my parents would take me to picnics or parties, I would hang close to the women instead of the men. I had a crush on one of my mom's best frien...

I hope everyone is having a wonderful Sunday. It is cool and rainy here in Charleston this morning but the birds and plants are happy so I am too. For those of you just getting up, you missed breakfast. I made bacon and cheese omelet sandwiches and a special omelet for myself which had bacon, cheese tomatoes and bell peppers. We also had orange juice and your choice of coffee or tea. See what you missed by sleeping in. I had planned on doing a video post this morning but we experienced technical difficulties as they say on TV. The video actually came out ok with a few exceptions. The light was behind me so you got a great view out my window, however I looked like one of those people being interviewed that wanted to remain anonymous. You could tell it was a person but not who it was. And to make matters worse, the camera slipped when I hit the record button so all you got was from my nose down. It wasn't supposed to be a humerus video so I deleted it. I will try to do another someti...

The girl over at "This just in" blog, was talking about her aquarium aliens and it made me think of my own aquarium aliens. Yes they really are aliens or at least I believe that is what they are. I have this aquarium in my greenhouse which has mostly green slime in it at the moment but it also has aliens. I don't know where they came from or how they got in there so I can only assume they were planted by the mother ship on a recent trip to earth. It is a freshwater aquarium that we used to keep water plants in for the winter but we gave up on doing that. Usually our winters are warm enough that some of our water plants will make it through and if they don't, we can always get more at the pet store. The aliens though are disguised as snails but they don't look like any fresh water snail I have ever seen. They are have long pointed shells similar to some saltwater snails I have seen. But here is why I think they are aliens. From time to time, they line up in parall...

Tagged by: The Monogram Queen . The rules of the game: RULE #1 : People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves. (chicken's way out) RULE #2 : Tag 6 people to do this quiz and they cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by continue this game by sending it to other people. Greg’s disclaimer: I did not write these rules…whoever did write these rules needs to “pop a Xanax” as a certain fellow blogger would say. I would also like to say that I seldom participate in these exercises in truth because I have trouble giving a straight answer. But here goes anyway. I am going to be brave and not change any questions. Questions: 1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be? I am not sure what I would do but my wife would probably kick her butt. Just kidding dear. 2. If you have a dream you’d like to c...

I was really impressed with both candidates last night. They both did a super job of dodging the questions and changing the subject. I also thought they both displayed a childish attitude that I have to say has been missing in my life since I left grade school. The only thing missing was some "na ne na na’s" and some “Your father is a doo doo head” comments. Let’s face it. We are in a world of trouble. But you know the thing that impressed me the most is the way Americans are blaming everything on the government. In my humble opinion the questions should have been combined into one simple statement; “I got myself into a terrible mess and I want the government to get me out. What are you going to do to save me?” And here is why I say this. Just a few short years ago most people in America were happy. We had great jobs and were making lots of money. We were living the good life. But we wanted more. We wanted to have things like Winnebago’s, Lexus’, 3000 sq ft houses on golf ...

I guess “hate” is a harsh word so let’s just say that there are a few things about the fall I dislike. They have to do with school so let’s just get to them. 1. School fund raisers. Why do we have to do this year after year? If you have children in school then you can feel my pain. It makes no sense at all. Originally these sales were not designed to raise money as much as they were to instill school spirit. When I was young, we were handed boxes of candy and told to go sell them to make money for the school. I can remember taking my big box of katydids and lugging it door to door and listening to one excuse after another but finally selling them all and feeling good about what I accomplished. These days door to door sales are forbidden so what’s the point? Our children bring home catalogs of overpriced stuff and we parents either drag it into work, and force our subordinates to buy it or we hound our relatives until they cave in. The children have nothing to do with it at all other th...

I have to say that today was as close to perfect as anyone could want. I had my doubts about today after yesterday. I took the day off on Friday and my wife and I went fishing. We had to take the smaller boat because our bigger boat had some steering problems. As soon as we went to take off though we knew something was wrong and we were only able to idle down the river. Later we found out that the gas we bought a few weeks ago during the big gas scare was half water. But that is water under the bridge. Despite the problems I thanked God that we had a day together and we did catch some fish. Today started out good and it just kept getting better. I woke up early so I decided to go ahead and leave for the market. The weather was cool and clear. I think it was about 58 deg F. As I said, just about perfect. About 8:00, people started showing up. Lots of people. I have never seen so many people at the market. I asked around and found out that it was parent day at the College of Charleston. ...

A radio station I listen to on the way to work always starts a topic of conversation every morning. Usually I listen to something else because their conversations are usually mindless dribble. This week they have had been talking about the economy so I listened in. Yes the topics were interesting but the conversations were the same old dribble. Monday it took less than a minute to find out that they didn’t know what they were talking about. The topic was 401k’s. They all three have 401k’s with the radio station where they now work. Let me stop for a second and tell you that the radio show is called “Two girls and a guy” and that is what there is. So the first girl says that she doesn’t know how much is in hers. She then admits that she puts money in it every payday but has never looked at it. Next the guy pipes up and says that he has looked at his and knows how much is in there but has never done anything with it. This is when the third person who is always a “know it all”, speaks up ...